Bonus: Oz 9 Meet the Characters

Honestly, there's just nothing good to be gained from listening to this. It's a bunch of people old enough to know better being very silly while affecting various accents (with varying degrees of success). Good ahead and listen if you want to, but please wear headphones and do something redemptive with your hands, like making food for unhoused people or picking your nose. We'll all feel better about it. Much thanks to Sarah Golding, to whom all credit (and frankly, blame) belongs. Yer ever-lovin', Crew Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Om Podcasten

It's Spring 2142 (a Tuesday), and Gated Galaxies has launched its 400 Oz-8000 ships, each carrying 50,000 "resting guests" to, hopefully, a new home on a shiny, brand-new planet. Except this whole "terraform and take over" idea isn't actually the plan; the real plan is far more nefarious and involves a great deal of cackling. But those aboard the ships don't know that, so off they toodle (those that make it out of Earth's atmosphere, at least), all shiny and optimistic. This is the story of one of those ships – the Oz 9 – and its tiny crew of hopeless incompetents. So far, they've been in space half an hour and several hundred people are dead. So... bright future, clearly.