Marriage: How to Make Sure Co-Parenting Doesn't Ruin Your Marriage
Working on a project with another person is difficult. And parenting is pretty much the biggest project you will ever do! Throw in past wounds, different families of origin, and influences from different communities and two spouses are bound to disagree on a lot of it. How can we make sure that parenting doesn't take our marriage down? Make sure your parenting philosophy always serves the marriage first! If strictly following a parenting philosophy is consistently driving a wedge between you and your husband, the philosophy needs to change. Your kids learn more from watching you and your husband than they do from your specific discipline techniques, so model working together well. Remember that moms and dads parent differently. Check out "The Wonder of Parenting" podcast in their series about how moms and dads parent differently. It is OK to have different responses to the same situation. In fact, it is good for your kids! Just because your husband speaks differently to your kids doesn't mean it is wrong. Resist the urge to nag. If you need to admonish your husband in his parenting, wait for the right time, give a soft start, and remember that he may also have good ideas that are just different than yours. Be willing to research his way of doing things. And for small things, you may just need to let it go. Often times it is better to be wrong together than right apart. Remember that one day your kids will leave your home and you will still have your husband. He will be your longest, closest relationship in your family. Don't let different parenting styles jeopardize your relationship with him!