115: Betrayal and Forgiveness: Rebuilding Trust After Deep Hurt with Dr. Bruce Chalmer

In this episode of A Simple Therapy Podcast, Sindee Gozansky sits down with Dr. Bruce Chalmer, a couples therapist, author, and podcaster who has spent more than 30 years helping people navigate intimacy, betrayal, and forgiveness. They explore why communication skills alone won’t save a struggling relationship, how true healing begins with the courage to face intimacy, and what Dr. Chalmer calls the “oh, shit moment” that can change everything for a couple. He also shares insights from his latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again, offering a compassionate framework for understanding betrayal, releasing self-blame, and finding faith—whether couples choose to stay together or part ways. With stories of couples who rebuilt their marriages stronger than before, a three-step path to forgiveness, and the wisdom of his “meta-serenity prayer,” this conversation is rich with guidance for therapists and couples alike. If you’ve ever wondered how trust can be rebuilt after heartbreak, this episode offers not just answers, but hope—and a simple invitation to live by: be kind, don’t panic, and have faith. 00:00 - Introduction and Guest Welcome 02:52 - Dr. Bruce’s Path to Becoming a Couples Therapist 04:58 - The “Oh, Shit” Moment in Couples Therapy 08:01 - From Psychodynamic Training to a More Human Approach 12:40 - Why Communication Skills Aren’t the Answer 16:08 - When Therapy Ideas Become Harmful Ideologies 20:52 - Defining Betrayal and Forgiveness 25:14 - Forgiveness as an Inside Job 29:15 - Navigating Gray Areas 31:50 - Three Steps to Forgiveness 40:49 - Shame, Apologies, and Real Repair 42:39 - Deal Breakers vs. Growing Pains in Relationships 47:06 - The Meta-Serenity Prayer and Faith in the Unknown 48:59 - Advice for Therapists Supporting Betrayed Couples 53:46 - Guidance for Couples Before and During Therapy Check out Berries: https://heyberries.com/heart-centered Use Discount Code: Sindee50 for $50 off your first month Shop Mental Health Threads: https://mentalhealththreads.etsy.com   Connect with Dr. Bruce Chalmer: Dr. Bruce Chalmer Couples Therapy in 7 Words Podcast  https://youtube.com/@brucechalmer   https://www.linkedin.com/in/bruce-chalmer-95ab70305 https://www.facebook.com/drbrucechalmer  Connect with Sindee Gozansky: Visit my website: asimpletherapypodcast.com/ Join the Heart-Centered Therapist Community FB group: 
facebook.com/groups/478651669638167 Instagram:
instagram.com/heartcenteredtherapist/ YouTube: youtube.com/@asimpletherapypodcast LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/sindeegozansky/   Want to be a guest on the podcast?  Email Sindee: info@asimpletherapy.com  

Om Podcasten

A Simple Therapy Podcast is where real conversations and soulful insights meet the work of healing—for therapists, mental health professionals, and anyone on a growth journey. Created by a licensed therapist, supervisor, and mentor, each episode blends professional insight with personal honesty. You'll hear solo reflections, therapist education, guest interviews, and mental health journeys that speak to what it means to be human—in and out of the therapy room. Whether you're looking to strengthen your clinical skills, support your own healing, or grow a heart-centered private practice, this podcast is here to support you. 🎙️ We talk about: Therapist life: burnout, imposter syndrome, boundaries & self-care Clinical education and tools for effective, ethical practice Supervision, mentorship & therapist identity Mental health stories, education & advocacy Private practice tips & building a sustainable career This isn’t just a podcast—it’s a space for honest dialogue, shared growth, and compassionate connection. Because whether you're the therapist or the client—we’re all human here. Let’s keep it simple… and keep showing up.