when love turns toxic: bpd traits and the favorite person or "FP" phenomenon

The “favorite person” (FP) relationship is one of the most talked-about dynamics in the BPD community—often described as “two people dancing an unconscious dance.” For those who identify with symptoms commonly associated with borderline personality disorder (EUPD), unresolved trauma can create a cycle of idealizing and devaluing others, especially those we hold closest. This “favorite person” can easily become the anchor of our world, and yet, relying on one person for identity and emotional stability isn’t sustainable.In this episode, we’ll explore the roots of the FP dynamic, looking at how trauma shapes these intense connections and how they impact our self-worth. Most importantly, I’ll share strategies to help you disentangle from this pattern and start building a secure sense of self—one that doesn’t depend on anyone else to feel whole. This journey is about learning to become your own “favorite person,” embracing the stability and confidence that come with true self-connection.In this episode, we’ll answer some of the most common questions about “favorite person” relationships in the context of BPD traits, including:What does “FP” stand for, and what is its meaning in the BPD community?How does “splitting” affect dynamics in an FP relationship?How can you cope with the loss of an FP?How does having a “favorite person” impact someone who identifies with BPD traits?What does a typical FP relationship look like?What are the stages of the BPD relationship cycle?What are the risks of an FP relationship, especially regarding codependency and abandonment fears?How can you transform an FP relationship from toxic to healthy?What role does paranoia (including fears of infidelity) play in FP relationships?How does BPD influence one’s sense of identity?How can voice dialogue techniques support the healthy expression of anger?Recommended resources: Healing the Shame that Binds You by John BradshawCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Om Podcasten

I don’t want to talk to your personality; I want to talk to your soul. Imagine if your most painful and debilitating mental health symptoms and self-sabotaging behaviors aren’t evidence of 'disorder' or 'dysfunction', but adaptive strategies that once kept you safe. My goal is to help you shift from asking ‘What’s wrong with me?’ to ‘What happened to me?’The word ‘borderline’ in this podcast has nothing to do with psychiatric labels. It has everything to do with coming back from the inner psychological brink we all experience. Everyone has found themselves on the edge, in that liminal space where the old self falls apart and the new Self emerges. Here, we explore what it means to undergo true emotional alchemy: that ancient and primordial process of falling apart, confronting the underworld of our psyche, and falling back together into someone stronger, wiser, and more whole.Many highly sensitive people who identify with the seemingly never-ending list of diagnostic mental health labels contained within ‘the bible of psychiatry’ (the DSM) share the same underlying sense of being irreparably broken, disconnected from their intuition, and paralyzed by life’s existential questions. I believe the resulting—and perfectly understandable—chronic feelings of emptiness and spiritual starvation are the TRUE causes of our current collective ‘mental health crisis.’Together, we’ll dive into depth psychology, mythology, human consciousness, critical psychiatry, and the impact of trauma to help you begin the process of emotional alchemy. This exploration will help you get to the root cause of your suffering and free yourself from the toxic shame, limiting beliefs, and mental programming that have kept you locked in the chains of your past.In an era where mental health and spirituality are too often commercialized, I’m not here as a guru with a quick fix to sell you. I don’t believe anyone is ever truly ‘healed’ or ‘cured.’ There is no return to some mythical state of pre-trauma purity, but rather a continuous spiral of unbecoming, unlearning, and transformation. As a fellow seeker, I will be there in your ear, walking alongside you on your path toward wholeness as a sort of parasocial big sister. That, I can promise.By integrating the concepts we explore together, you’ll begin to see that anyone—even you—can come back from the borderline.CRAVING MORE? Visit backfromtheborderline.com to dive into my universe, connect with me, access my Patreon, and discover more about my journey and work. Don’t forget to follow Back from the Borderline so new episodes on Tuesdays and Thursdays automatically drop into your podcast feed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.