shame series part 7: unmet childhood needs, perfectionism, and public shaming

Discover the insidious nature of toxic shame and its potential role as the root cause behind our ongoing suffering and emotional turmoil. At the core of self-sabotage, toxic shame leaves us feeling empty, unfulfilled, and disconnected from others. Learn how internalized toxic shame manifests uniquely in individuals, evident through feelings of unworthiness, negative self-talk, perfectionism, fear of vulnerability, struggles with intimacy, boundary challenges, chronic self-consciousness, avoidant behaviors, negative body image, and emotional instability. This episode is the seventh installment of our multi-episode series, aiming to guide you in alchemizing and transmuting your toxic shame. TIME STAMPS: 00:00 – 13:48: The sound of toxic shame (listener voicemails)13:16 – 42:10: Understanding your core childhood dependency needs (how unmet needs in childhood affect us as adults)42:10 – 47:54: Abandonment through enmeshment in the overt and covert needs of a dysfunctional family system47:54 – 59:29: Understanding internalized toxic shame and shame spirals59:29 – 01:14:20: Toxic shame as forced perfectionism in public school systems01:14:20 – 01:20:51: How peer shaming in childhood leads to internalized toxic shame01:20:51 – 01:30:05: The devastating impact of digital public shaming and internet “cancel culture”[PREMIUM]01:30:05 – 01:36:51: Listener question from Matt (rushing the recovery process)01:36:51 – 01:51:42: Anonymous listener question (finding self-forgiveness after a shame-inducing mistake)01:50:47 – 02:02:34: Listener question from Caleb (how to sit with the deep pain of recovery and deal with creative blockages) Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Om Podcasten

I don’t want to talk to your personality; I want to talk to your soul. Imagine if your most painful and debilitating mental health symptoms and self-sabotaging behaviors aren’t evidence of 'disorder' or 'dysfunction', but adaptive strategies that once kept you safe. My goal is to help you shift from asking ‘What’s wrong with me?’ to ‘What happened to me?’The word ‘borderline’ in this podcast isn’t about psychiatric labels. It’s about coming back from the inner psychological brink we all experience. Everyone has found themselves on the edge, in that liminal space where the old self falls apart and the new Self emerges. Here, we explore what it means to undergo true emotional alchemy: that ancient and primordial process of falling apart, confronting the underworld of our psyche, and falling back together into someone stronger, wiser, and more whole.Many highly sensitive people who identify with the seemingly never-ending list of diagnostic mental health labels contained within ‘the bible of psychiatry’ (the DSM) share the same underlying sense of being irreparably broken, disconnected from their intuition, and paralyzed by life’s existential questions. I believe the resulting—and perfectly understandable—chronic feelings of emptiness and spiritual starvation are the TRUE causes of our current collective ‘mental health crisis.’ Together, we’ll dive into depth psychology, mythology, human consciousness, critical psychiatry, and the impact of trauma to help you begin the process of emotional alchemy. This exploration will help you get to the root cause of your suffering and free yourself from the toxic shame, limiting beliefs, and mental programming that have kept you locked in the chains of your past.In an era where mental health and spirituality are too often commercialized, I’m not here as a guru with a quick fix to sell you. I don’t believe anyone is ever truly ‘healed’ or ‘cured.’ There is no return to some mythical state of pre-trauma purity, but rather a continuous spiral of unbecoming, unlearning, and transformation. As a fellow seeker, I will be there in your ear, walking alongside you on your path toward wholeness as a sort of parasocial big sister. That, I can promise. By integrating the concepts we explore together, you’ll begin to see that anyone—even you—can come back from the borderline.CRAVING MORE? Visit backfromtheborderline.com to dive into my universe, connect with me, access my Patreon, and discover more about my journey and work. Don’t forget to follow Back from the Borderline so new episodes on Tuesdays and Thursdays automatically drop into your podcast feed. acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.