Conquistador? Conquista-Dead: Magellan, Lapu Lapu, and the Worst Beach Day Ever

Ferdinand Magellan was a glory-hungry Portuguese explorer sailing under the Spanish flag, out to prove he could circle the globe, convert entire civilizations, and maybe pick up a few spice islands along the way. But after months of storms, mutinies, and bad decisions, Magellan washed up in the Philippines thinking he could win a war with fifty guys, a translator, and the power of God. What he got instead was Lapu Lapu—a chieftain with no interest in foreign gods, foreign kings, or foreign bullshit. In today's episode, Ben and Andrew tell the story of an egomaniac’s world tour gone sideways, and the man who sent him home in a box. Well, he would’ve, if Magellan’s crew had ever gone back to get the body.

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Throughout the course of human civilization certain individuals have stood out as being completely f***ing awesome. From ninjas and gunfighters to pirates and Vikings, to explorers, scientists and great leaders, these people - true badasses - completely obliterated anything that stood in their path, routinely overcame seemingly insurmountable obstacles, and ultimately altered the course of history through their actions. Be it glory, conquest, or survival, these hardcore men and women all had one specific goal in life - and they didn’t let anything stand between themselves and their mission. They refused to back down even when the odds seemed hopelessly stacked against them, they came back from the brink of failure to achieve ultimate success, and they beat the fucking hell out of anyone stupid enough to have stood in their way. Badass of the Week is a weekly (duh) podcast, that dives into new stories of badasses every week.