“Don’t Do What You Love—Do What You Are” with Ashley Stahl
Guest: Ashley Stahl — former counter-terrorism pro, career coach, bestselling author of U-Turn, host of the U-Turn Podcast, founder of Wise Whisper Agency (TEDx + speaking career development)Episode SummaryAt 24, Ashley landed the “dream job” in national security—and immediately felt the misalignment. In this masterclass on identity, discernment, and career clarity, she unpacks the “turn signals” that told her to pivot, the 10 Core Skill Sets framework from U-Turn, and a clean distinction between instinct and intuition. We explore soul line vs. goal line, the dignity of process, and how to build a speaking career from values, not vanity. If you’re in transition—or ready to deepen into mastery—this is your episode.Key TopicsTurn Signals vs. Rationalization: How your body flags misalignment before your mind can justify it.Values + Skill Set: The “what” (skill set) and the “how” (values) must agree—or you’ll pay for it in energy.Identity Work: Why every evolution requires releasing an old identity (“no grief, no glory”).Soul Line vs. Goal Line: Achieve without bargaining against your soul.Three Lily Pads: Fine → Gift → Flow (and how to move between them).Instinct vs. Intuition: Animal alarm vs. wise whisper—and a micro-practice to hear the latter.Core Skill Sets: A preview of Ashley’s 10; how energy (introvert/extrovert) filters the right expression of your gift.Process Over Speed: Impatience is expensive; honor the experiment.AI & Intimacy: Use the tool—don’t outsource your humanity.Memorable Quotes“You don’t need to convince yourself to do what’s aligned.”“Every new chapter asks for a new identity.”“Don’t do what you love. Do what you are.”“The worst time-sucks often arrive dressed as great opportunities.”“Never rob someone of the dignity of their process.”Micro-Practice: Hearing IntuitionSlow down (one minute: eyes soft, breath steady).Name the signal: “This feels like fear / this feels like a quiet yes/no.”Act lightly: Take the smallest aligned next step; observe the energy it creates.Timestamps00:02 – Welcome + series frame: integrity in teaching02:38 – Age 24: “dream job,” misalignment, values conflict06:10 – Turn signals vs. over-rationalizing10:46 – Money, meaning, and the 10th-birthday luggage story13:55 – From Pentagon to coaching: burning through 2,000 alumni calls17:47 – Identity, grief, and letting iterations go24:28 – Deepak, desire, and becoming who you are26:49 – Soul line vs. goal line (and the “LinkedIn line”)29:52 – Three lily pads: Fine → Gift → Flow34:01 – Instinct vs. intuition (wise whispers)36:06 – Core Skill Sets—words, numbers, coordination, service…39:59 – What Ashley may write next (great talks, TEDx)40:54 – The dignity of process; impatience is expensive43:23 – AI as tool, not intimacy; keep humanity at the center45:01 – How to work with Ashley (Wise Whisper Agency)Resources & LinksAshley’s book: U-Turn - Ashley’s TEDx: “How to Figure Out What You Really Want”