034: How to Give a Better Apology

I’m sorry?  In relationships, things happen.  Your apologies matter to healing and moving forward.



We recently geeked out about an episode of the Freakonomics podcast all about the science of a good apology.  In today’s episode, we apply this apology research to couples’ communication.



In this episode, we talk about:



Best practices for an apology to have an impact 



An apology needs to occur soon after the negative event happens.The apology has to have a “cost” to the apologizer (and it needs to be understood that it's costly by the person who receives the apology). Do not overuse apologies without changing behavior—then it is hard to show that the apology is costly.  What you say first and what you say last are the most important pieces of an apology.End your apology by saying how sorry you are and if possible state what restitution you will make.



#ConfidentCouples challenge:



Offer a more thoughtful apology next time you owe one.



Mentioned in this Episode:



Freakonomics: How to Optimize Your Apology (Ep. 353)The science of apologies with experimental evidenceRich and Famous Have A Lot to Learn When it Comes to Saying Sorry



Let's connect!  Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

Om Podcasten

Marriage doesn't have to be hard—if you make it intentional. We're Bud and Sara Dunn, a couple of 30-somethings who have spent 16 years together crafting a relationship that's uplifting, positive, and always growing. Every week on our marriage and relationship podcast, we share our real-world advice that you can use to be more confident as a couple.