040: What You Say About Your Partner (Behind Their Back) Matters

We’ve all been in situations where we’ve complained about our partner to our friends.



This is kind of inevitable once in a while, but we really believe it shouldn’t be a habit.  On today’s episode, we talk about the impact that complaining about your partner has on your relationships, friendships, and your own mindset.



In this episode, we talk about:



How complaining can make you feel more negative about your partner in generalThe difference between believing your partner is being (a temporary state) a jerk and believing your partner “is” (a permanent character) a jerkRecognizing when you’re complaining just for relief or affirmationHow your complaining can affect your friends’ relationshipsTalking to your friends about your spouse in a way that is actually looking for help



#ConfidentCouples challenge:



Sara’s challenge: Say something nice about your partner to your friends.



Bud’s challenge: Catch yourself the next time you start complaining about your partner, or rephrase the complaint into a “help me” statement.



Mentioned in this episode:



Mr and Mrs Smith movie— therapy sceneGreat times to address complaints with your partner: The Ritual and Life Planning Dinner



Let's connect!  Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

Om Podcasten

Marriage doesn't have to be hard—if you make it intentional. We're Bud and Sara Dunn, a couple of 30-somethings who have spent 16 years together crafting a relationship that's uplifting, positive, and always growing. Every week on our marriage and relationship podcast, we share our real-world advice that you can use to be more confident as a couple.