Failure is the Key to Success | CP201

For some, failure is a motivator, a chance to prove themselves and strive for something even greater. But for others—especially highly sensitive kids, gifted kids, kids with ADHD, or strong-willed Gladiator kids—failure feels catastrophic. Even minor setbacks can trigger overwhelming self-doubt, anxiety, and shame.The truth is, failure is an essential part of growth. It’s how we learn, build resilience, and ultimately succeed. But for kids who struggle with stress tolerance, failure can feel like an unbearable weight.In this episode, we’ll explore why some children react so strongly to failure, and more importantly, how we as parents can help them shift their perspective. You'll learn strategies to help your child develop stress tolerance, reframe failure as a stepping stone to success, and build the emotional resilience they need to thrive.Let’s turn failure into an opportunity for growth—together. Jennifer's Takeaways:Understanding Failure and Its Impact on Children (00:00)Parents' Relationship with Failure (01:58)The Role of Parental Response (04:15)Brain Processes During Failure (04:52)Building Failure Tolerance in Children (08:25)Practical Strategies for Parents (13:55)Challenges and Final Thoughts (14:17)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

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Connected Parenting shares techniques that therapists use to help parents soothe their child as well as enhance the parent-child bond and is based on the understanding that correcting and guiding behavior works best when it is preceded by and linked to empathy. At the heart of this parenting model is the CALM Technique which helps parents accurately attune to children’s affect and experience. These empathic interactions release reward chemicals in the brain that stimulate positive emotions and increase order and balance in the nervous system. Reward chemicals, including natural opiates, endorphins, and a powerful hormone called oxytocin, reduce and inhibit stress hormones and bathe the brain in positive emotions that ripple through every cell in the body. The benefits of empathy and compassion have a strong base in science that cannot be underestimated. Simply put, it is brain food, the emotional nutrition all of us need, perhaps our children most of all. Although many parenting techniques stress the importance of empathy, Connected Parenting will show you how to use it skillfully to repair frayed bonds, deescalate tantrums, contain and correct difficult behaviors and help your child to become more confident and emotionally resilient. We use a collaborative and supportive coaching model and provide inspirational, easy-to-understand techniques grounded in neuroscience and attachment. In the end, your child will be more compliant, more relaxed, and – most importantly – happier. Connected Parenting will bring out the best in you and your child.