79: Beyond "Yes": Breaking the Cycle of People-Pleasing as a Trauma Response with Matthias Barker

Sabrina sits down with Matthias Barker for a second time to dive into the detrimental effects of people-pleasing, a common trauma response where individuals regulate others to feel safe themselves. Unlike genuine empathy, people-pleasing stems from fear and often involves manipulation. Barker emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and confronting dysfunction rather than avoiding it, as true safety doesn't come from constant monitoring out of fear. He advises distinguishing between needs and anxiety, advocating for acceptance and mutual attunement in relationships. Personal experiences shared by both Sabrina and Barker highlight the necessity of building a solid relationship foundation, addressing big emotions, and helping partners express their needs authentically without resorting to people-pleasing behaviors. Want to work with Sabrina? HERE! Stuck After the Podcast? Master Implementation in 8 Weeks with Sabrina's Foundation Course Join the Make It Make Sense: Getting Through a Breakup course HERE! Get Ad-free episodes and 2 Bonus episodes a month HERE! Dont forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on instagram and Sabrina on Tik tok! Video now available on YOUTUBE!  Please support our sponsors! Go 20% off your first order and free shipping with Chomps HERE! Save $10 on your first purchase at StoryWorth HERE! Get 10% off your first month of Betterhelp HERE! Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formally known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity.

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The Sabrina Zohar Show is your no-BS guide to dating, relationships, and coming home to yourself. Hosted by @sabrina.zohar, this podcast dives deep into the realities of modern love, anxious attachment, and the personal growth it takes to build meaningful connections- not just with others, but with yourself. Formerly known as “Do The Work” the show is all about cutting through the noise. Whether you’re navigating dating burnout, relationship struggles, or learning how to stop overthinking every text, Sabrina brings raw, unfiltered conversations that challenge your patterns, shift your mindset, and help you reclaim your power. Because the real work isn’t just about finding the right person, it’s also about becoming the version of you that feels whole, secure, and unapologetically authentic. Listen now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and watch on YouTube. A podcast on dating, anxiety, and doing the work to heal with @Sabrina.zohar (https://www.instagram.com/sabrina.zohar) . Instagram: @thesabrinazoharshow (https://www.instagram.com/thesabrinazoharshow) TikTok: @sabrina.zohar (https://www.tiktok.com/@sabrina.zohar) Instagram- @thesabrinazoharshow (https://www.instagram.com/thesabrinazoharshow) TikTok- @sabrina.zohar (https://www.tiktok.com/@sabrina.zohar)