Why do five-star hotels provide one bar wi-fi?

These are NOT the full-fat conspiracies that give conspiracy theorists a bad name. They're the wholesome, laughable, thought-provoking and largely plagiarised observations about stuff you encounter everyday. Like suspiciously magnified seafood cabinets that make your prawns look bigger. T-shirts secretly designed by optometrists to coax you into new glasses, and something about feminine hygiene products that we probably shouldn't go into here. Your hosts, Sean Craig Murphy and Mena Soliman, promise to bring you brisk new episodes every Tuesday -- until they are cancelled.