How to stop worrying about small problems that don't matter (and kill your perfectionist)
Ever notice how you'll curse for days when stuck in traffic but never celebrate hitting all green lights? Your brain's flaw-detection software is working overtime.
In our quest for the ideal—the perfect relationship, the flawless investment, the dream career—we often miss the opportunity to appreciate what's already working. This isn't about lowering standards; it's about recognizing diminishing returns and the opportunity costs of perfectionism.
Gratitude research shows that people who accept small imperfections actually experience more satisfaction and happiness. It's not about settling—it's about optimizing for what truly matters and recognizing the diminishing returns of chasing perfection.
Identify what's truly non-negotiable versus what's just a small cost of admission
See where you get stuck in diminishing returns of perfectionism and break out of the cycle
Reframe "tolerating flaws" as "accepting the whole, complex reality" of what you value
Ready to stop obsessing over small flaws and start enjoying the ride? Your ticket to a more satisfying life is waiting.
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Related Episodes
How to stop catastrophising
Psychology of Control - Why your brain overcomplicated everything
How to build emotional intelligence
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Growth Mindset Psychology:
Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement.
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Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement
Episode: How to stop worrying about small problems that don't matter (and kill your perfectionist)
Chapters:
00:00 Hardwired for problem seeking
00:55 Concept of paying the price of admission
01:23 Relationships
04:43 Stock markets
06:02 More examples
08:42 Gratitude and Game Theory
10:41 Perfectionism and diminishing returns
12:55 Martha Nussbaum and the Descent of Love
13:58 Positive and negative flywheels of gratitude and perfectionism
15:48 Chang Chang and the Broken Vase Garden
17:17 Send Off
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Most self-help advice is guesswork dressed up as wisdom. We dig into psychology, neuroscience, and behavioral science to find what actually changes lives.
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— Time Management for Busy Mortals
— Independence and Knowing Yourself
— Cognitive Biases and Rational Thinking
— Psychology of Connection and Relationships
— Carol Dweck and the Multiverse of Mindsets
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