Shame, Addiction, and How To Focus On Who You Are Becoming

We evolved shame as a gift. A signal that whispers when we've drifted from who we might become. What if the discomfort you feel isn't the problem, but the compass? This episode explores a surprising truth: the hardest patterns to change aren't the ones destroying us, but the ones keeping us comfortably mediocre. Yet they hold us back and sometimes shames even stops us from acknowledging they exist. But we need to step back and ask if we are truly happy with our choices, the way we live our life and what we would like in it and wouldn't. And slowly learn how to build the healthier life we seek. Three Actionable Takeaways: View shame as information about misalignment, not evidence of inadequacy—it evolved to guide you, not punish you Recognize that growth happens in difficulty, not comfort—the urge to escape is the moment to lean in Build intrinsic motivation rooted in values, not just outcomes—sustainable change comes from who you're becoming, not what you're avoiding This episode originally aired on the Unhooked Podcast by Jeremy Lipkowitz. NEW SHOW - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠How to Change the World: The History and Future of Innovation⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn about the evolving story of the human species and our ideas told in chronological order. The podcast is full of fun facts, surprising stories and philosophical insights. Found on all major podcast players: Spotify - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1Fj3eFjEoAEKF5lWQxPJyT⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Apple - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-change-the-world-the-history-of-innovation/id1815282649⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@HowToChangeTheWorldPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ RSS feed - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/682b3b86696b5d1232d698a8⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ --- UPGRADE to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Premium⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠GrowthMindset.Supercast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Schedule Link⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube (Growth Mindset)⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🛜 Website - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Growth Mindset⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction to addictions 03:26 Sam's Podcast and Philosophy 05:44 Defining Growth Mindset 09:35 Sam's Journey and Personal Growth 10:26 The Power of Mindset in Education 15:33 Growth Mindset and Recovery 16:49 Neuroplasticity and Overcoming Addiction 17:38 Sam's Experience with Porn Addiction 24:17 Challenges of Identifying and Addressing Addictions 25:39 The Subtle Creep of Addictive Behaviors 26:35 The Influence of Social Media and Algorithms 27:50 The Thin Line Between Social Media and Porn 28:15 Female Empowerment or Objectification? 29:55 The Impact of Porn on Real-Life Relationships 32:41 The Role of Shame in Human Evolution 34:56 The Social Function of Gossip 36:02 The Duality of Human Nature 38:36 The Duality of Shame and Success 39:44 Empathy and Understanding Human Behavior 44:37 Embracing Our Animal Nature 46:17 Lessons from Podcasting 51:22 Final Thoughts and Future Projects Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Most self-help advice is guesswork dressed up as wisdom. We dig into psychology, neuroscience, and behavioral science to find what actually changes lives. WHY LISTEN? Over 8 million downloads because we answer the questions that matter: How do I build mental strength? What creates lasting motivation? How can I understand my own mind well enough to work with it, not against it? This podcast is for curious skeptics who want frameworks backed by psychology studies, not Instagram quotes. Whether you're navigating procrastination, building self-discipline, or designing your own philosophy for a life well lived—we explore the hidden psychology behind real change. WHAT YOU'LL GET Mental models and simple techniques from cognitive psychology, positive psychology, and ancient wisdom traditions like Stoicism and Buddhism. Being a human can be confusing, learning about it doesn’t have to be. We cover everything from emotional intelligence and habit formation to brain health and the nervous system. WHAT YOU DON’T GET No pseudoscience. No oversimplified "hacks." No hustle porn. Just practical insights on mindset improvement, self-development, and human psychology that respect your intelligence and mental health. THE APPROACH Instead of telling you what to think, we explore how thinking works. Armed with psychology studies, social science research, and relentless curiosity, we uncover the mechanics of belief change, attitude change, and personal development. Success is personal. You might want to leverage your neurodiverse strengths, build a business, or simply discover how to be happier. We provide the mental frameworks to pursue your definition of success with mental strength and self-care that fits your life. YOUR HOST I'm Sam Webster Harris—a lifelong learner with ADHD and an obsession with finding answers to hard questions. After launching businesses, traveling the world, and nearly dying a few times, I concluded that psychology and science are where real wisdom lives. This show is my excuse to dive deep into health and fitness research, behavioral psychology, and cool science while helping you build genuine self-discipline and motivation. PREMIUM Go ad-free and access exclusive content, AMAs, and our community Discord. Growth Mindset Premium PAST SERIES Previous guests include Olympians, Scientists, Billionaires, and Sam's Mum. Past series: — Psychology vs Stoicism — Time Management for Busy Mortals — Independence and Knowing Yourself — Cognitive Biases and Rational Thinking — Psychology of Connection and Relationships — Carol Dweck and the Multiverse of Mindsets — Addiction and Behaviour Change — Nervous System Mastery and Polyvagal Theory — Mental Strength and Self-Discipline