Sex & Intimacy in the Orthodox Jewish Community: What’s working, What’s not working & What needs to change (Talli Rosenbaum)
Talli Rosenbaum, an individual, couples and certified sex therapist, who deals mainly with human relationships, and in particular, intimate relationships, joins us in this eye opening episode that confronts a controversial topic that needs exploration. Suppressed and overt traumas of all kinds can be often be triggered and revealed in intimate and personal sexual situations. Even more, one's first sexual experience in of itself, can be perceived as a traumatic event, if conversation, mutual expectations, assumptions and desires are not properly addressed in advance.Intimacy and the dynamics between marriage partners have been a taboo subject in the orthodox world. In this episode, Matana and Talli discuss emotional and physical intimacy and some of the issues common in the Orthodox world.What are Orthodox Jewish women facing when dealing with the mitzvah of Niddah?Are Orthodox Jewish men taught the appropriate way to interact with the opposite gender?If not, how does this interplay create conflicts?What happens when one partner is less interested in sex than the other?Matana and Talli tackle these questions and more in this episode. Providing validation and empathy to our spouses are imperative to create relational safety. Communication is key to safety in all good relationships as in the case of every relationship that one is trying to repair. Feelings of rejection, anger and resentment are typical when dealing with sexual issues. Therefore, the ability to be completely present and listen to the other person is imperative for the healing to begin and truly take place. Much of our ability to connect has to do with what we were taught about our entitlement toward pleasure, what we were taught about our autonomy over our bodies, as well as our own understanding of our bodies.About Talli Rosenbaum: Together with Rabbi Scott Kahn, Talli is the co-host of Intimate Judaism, which is one of Matana’s Top 5 Podcasts. She is also the co-author of the book “I Am for My Beloved: A Guide to Enhanced Intimacy for Married Couples.”, together with Dr. David Ribner.If you need more support in your mental health journey please reach out to us in our private Facebook group. We also offer free 30-minute fitting calls for our coaching program. You do not have to walk through your mental health struggle alone. Because as always, together is better!—————————————————————————Connect with Talli:Talli's Podcast: Intimate JudaismWeb: https://integrativepsych.coTalli's Book on Amazon: I Am for My Beloved: A Guide to Enhanced Intimacy for Married Couples—————————————————————————Topics DiscussedThe rapid unprepared transition from personal body autonomy to "sharing my body" that newlyweds undergo.Misguided notions that a women's body sole purpose is to selflessly serve her spouse with or without consent.Indifference towards and denial of physical or emotional intimacy as a result of unrelated traumatic events.The pressure to consummate, without the adequate tools, journey or time to build an intimate relationship without preparation or the development of emotional intimacy before marriage.—————————————————————————Quotes:“It creates a very dark beginning. While it can be healed, those early weeks create a certain threat in your nervous system.” @Talli Rosenbaum @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge“It's a new age and there's so much more awareness and there's so much more psychological awareness” @Talli Rosenbaum @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge“[While] the stigma of going to therapy is going down… but it should be seen as an investment in the thing that is most precious to you even when things are just fine, see what you can improve in.” @MatanaJacobs @Talli Rosenbaum #HopetoRecharge"You have to do what's right for you and look for alternative way.” @Talli Rosenbaum @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge—————————————————————————If you need more support in your mental health journey please reach out to us in our private Facebook group. We also offer free 30-minute fitting calls for our coaching program. You do not have to walk through your mental health struggle alone. Because as always, together is better!There is no substitute for a listening ear. 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