How to Handle a Conflict in Denmark

If you are an international who lives in Denmark, or someone who wants to, you have to learn the Danish way of dealing with conflict. This might be with a colleague, or your upstairs neighbors, or the authorities at the commune. In these cases, it’s very important not to lose your temper or raise your voice. And this can be tricky if the culture you come from, your culture of origin, is a passionate culture. Denmark is not a passionate culture. If you hear someone talking about their passion here, it's almost always some sort of hobby, or the summer home they have been fixing up for years. Their passion is almost never a person or a cause. And they generally use the English or French word passion, not lidenskab, which is the rather clumsy Danish translation. So, the keywords to handling conflict here are not strength and passion, they are humor and equality. You have to take the approach that you and the person you disagree with are equals. Your counterparty isn’t someone you can push around, but they’re also not someone better than you that you have to bow down to. One of Danes’ favorite expressions is øjenhøjde, or eye level. They love that concept. When Prince Christian, the future king of Denmark, recently turned 18, several of his birthday greetings from the public said, Remember to always stay at eye level with your people. The person you disagree with is your human equal, even if they’re a teacher or a manager or someone who works for the government. The other best strategy getting a conflict resolved in Denmark is to find the humor in it. If you can make the other person laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, you’re halfway there. Keep it as light as you possibly can, assume good faith, and assume that the other person really would like to solve the problem, and assume that it is solvable, which isn’t always true, but it’s a good first assumption. Humorously acknowledge your contribution to the problem, whatever it might have been, and own your mistakes. Danes really like people that admit they’ve made a mistake and have a sense of humor about it. Be as practical as possible. Danes are practical to a fault. Focus on something that can really get accomplished, not big noble concepts of truth and justice. I have seen internationals in Denmark make disagreements much worse than they have to be by raising their voices, telling the other person they are racist or sexist, threatening to call in somebody’s boss or threatening to expose them online, which is illegal, by the way. Denmark has very strict privacy laws – if you catch someone stealing your bike and you post a photo of them online, you’re the one who will hear from the police first.   Read more at howtoliveindenmark.com  

Om Podcasten

Life as an international in Denmark, one of the world's most homogenous countries, isn't always easy. In Denmark’s longest-running English-language podcast, Kay Xander Mellish, an American who has lived in Denmark for more than a decade, offers tips for enjoying your time in “the world’s happiest country” plus insights on Danish culture and how to build friendships with Danes. Whether you're living in Denmark, thinking about moving to Denmark, or interested in a job in Denmark and want to understand Danish business culture, this podcast will offer insights and guidance. Each episode of "How to Live in Denmark" tackles topics that will help you understand the Danish way of life, emphasizing work-life balance, the unique Danish workplace culture, and the social norms that define Danish society. With Denmark's renowned flat hierarchy, workplace flexibility, and emphasis on equality, understanding the subtleties of Danish work etiquette is essential for anyone working in Denmark or engaging with Danish businesses. Our discussions also delve into Denmark's flexicurity system, a distinctive approach to labor market regulation that blends flexibility with security, providing insights on how this model supports a dynamic and adaptive work environment. Listeners considering entrepreneurship in Denmark or business ventures in Denmark will find strategic advice on navigating the Danish labor market and leveraging business opportunities in a society known for its innovation and egalitarian corporate culture. (Is Denmark socialist? No, it's more free-market than the US or UK.) Expats in Denmark will particularly benefit from episodes focusing on cultural integration, socializing in Danish workplaces, and the crucial role of professional networking in Denmark. Learn how to navigate Denmark's informal communication styles, engage with the Danish sense of humor in the workplace, and appreciate the significant autonomy given to employees in Danish companies. Kay's short episodes about her experiences in Denmark illuminate the practicalities of living in Denmark and pleasures of Danish life. From understanding Danish employment law to embracing the social trust that is so basic to Danish society, "How to Live in Denmark" equips you with the knowledge to survive and thrive in Denmark. Whether it's deciphering Danish management style, exploring how to maintain work-life balance, or understanding the egalitarian mindset that pervades Danish workplaces, this podcast is your companion in mastering the art of living Danishly. Subscribe to "How to Live in Denmark" start your journey to a deeper understanding of Denmark, ensuring your Danish experience is both successful and enjoyable. Whether you're in Denmark for a new job, a safer home protected by the Danish welfare state, or new business opportunities, let's explore together what it means to live and work in Denmark, raise your family in Denmark, and advance your career in Denmark.