How to Find, Build & Maintain Healthy Romantic Relationships | Esther Perel

In this episode, my guest is Esther Perel, a world-renowned psychotherapist, relationship expert, and bestselling author. She explains healthy romantic relationship dynamics and how to achieve them. The answer includes curiosity not just about the other person but, more importantly, about who we can evolve into through healthy relating. Esther explains the fundamental differences and challenges in relationships formed at different stages of life. We also discuss relationship conflict and how to give and receive a true apology. Additionally, we discuss fidelity, breaches of trust, reviving relationships, and tools for understanding your needs regarding love and desire in a relationship. The episode will help listeners understand the key elements to find, build, and revive deeply satisfying romantic relationships. Access the full show notes for this episode at hubermanlab.com. Thank you to our sponsors AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman David Protein: https://davidprotein.com/huberman LMNT: https://drinklmnt.com/huberman Helix Sleep: https://helixsleep.com/huberman Function: https://functionhealth.com/huberman Timestamps 00:00:00 Esther Perel 00:02:03 Sponsors: David Protein, LMNT & Helix Sleep 00:06:33 Romantic Relationships, Change & Self 00:11:18 Cornerstone vs. Capstone Relationships, Age Differences 00:16:53 Young vs. Older Couples, Dynamic Relationships 00:20:13 Identity & Relationship Evolution 00:26:00 Curiosity, Reactivity 00:30:29 Sponsor: AG1 00:31:59 Polarization, Conflict; Coherence & Narratives 00:38:21 Apologies, Forgiveness, Shame, Self-Esteem 00:45:00 Relationship Conflict 00:53:48 Sponsor: Function 00:55:35 Verb States of Conflict; Emotion, Narratives vs. Reality 01:00:10 Time Domains & Hurt; Caretaker & Romantic Relationships 01:08:03 Couples Therapy; Language & Naming 01:20:15 Sexuality in Relationships 01:26:20 Tool: Love & Desire, Sexuality 01:31:28 Infidelity, “Aliveness” 01:35:17 Intimacy, Abandonment, Self-Preservation 01:41:26 Erotic Blueprints, Emotional Needs 01:49:42 Tool: Repair Work, Relationship Revival; Sincere Apologies 01:59:30 Tool: Relationship Readiness 02:03:33 Zero-Cost Support, YouTube, Spotify & Apple Follow & Reviews, Sponsors, YouTube Feedback, Protocols Book, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter Disclaimer & Disclosures

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The Huberman Lab podcast is hosted by Andrew Huberman, Ph.D., a neuroscientist and tenured professor in the department of neurobiology, and by courtesy, psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford School of Medicine. The podcast discusses neuroscience and science-based tools, including how our brain and its connections with the organs of our body control our perceptions, our behaviors, and our health, as well as existing and emerging tools for measuring and changing how our nervous system works. Huberman has made numerous significant contributions to the fields of brain development, brain function, and neural plasticity, which is the ability of our nervous system to rewire and learn new behaviors, skills, and cognitive functioning. He is a McKnight Foundation and Pew Foundation Fellow and was awarded the Cogan Award, given to the scientist making the most significant discoveries in the study of vision, in 2017.  Work from the Huberman Laboratory at Stanford School of Medicine has been published in top journals, including Nature, Science, and Cell, and has been featured in TIME, BBC, Scientific American, Discover, and other top media outlets. In 2021, Dr. Huberman launched the Huberman Lab podcast. The podcast is frequently ranked in the top 10 of all podcasts globally and is often ranked #1 in the categories of Science, Education, and Health & Fitness.