Navigating the Parent-Child Attachment with Dr. Tanya Cotler

This week, Dr. Tracy is sitting down with Dr. Tanya Cotler, a renowned clinical psychologist and co-founder of Renni, to discuss attachment science and its profound influence on our parenting and relationships. Dr. Cotler sheds light on how our earliest years, particularly the first three, significantly shape our relationship blueprints. Together, they explore the intriguing link between attachment and feelings of shame, stressing the spectrum of attachment strategies, from anxious to avoidant. Dr. Cotler also dispels common parenting misconceptions, advocates for compassionate and intuitive parenting, and underscores the value of recognizing ruptures and repairs in nurturing a child's autonomy. Furthermore, the discussion extends beyond parenting to how these principles can enrich various relationships, emphasizing negotiation and acknowledging our own needs while fostering connections with others.    Today’s topics include:  The importance of the first three years of life in forming our blueprint for relationships.  The connection between attachment and the experience of shame in challenging moments  How the attachment system is related to our survival instincts and emotional responses  Coping strategies developed in childhood and their impact on adult behavior  Understanding anxious and avoidant attachment styles and their impact on relationships  Exploring intuitive and compassionate parenting and dispelling common myths.  How children communicate through their behavior and body language  The concept of ruptures and repairs in parent-child relationships  The essence of gentle, compassionate parenting and allowing children to learn autonomy  Understanding that it's impossible to meet every need at every moment and the importance of negotiation      You can find Dr. Tanya on Instagram, on her website, and learn more her work at Renni on their website!    You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here!  Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again.  Get intentional with your partner and reconnect with small actions every day with 28 Days of Love    Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass       Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected      Deepen your Connection with your Partner: 100 Questions to Connect  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Om Podcasten

Welcome to Dear Dr. Tracy, the podcast that helps you navigate the everyday challenges of relationships, marriage, and parenting with expert advice and real, relatable conversations. Hosted by clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, this podcast is your place for honest, no-nonsense guidance on love, intimacy, boundaries, and communication. With over 18 years of experience, Dr. Tracy brings a mix of clinical expertise, evidence-based research, and personal insights as a wife and mother to help you break unhealthy patterns and build stronger connections. Each week, Dr. Tracy answers the questions so many of us have but don’t always know how to ask—about resentment, desire, mental load, and how to truly feel like a team with your partner. She’s joined by fellow experts, real couples, and her husband Greg, who offers a down-to-earth perspective on the struggles so many relationships face. If you’re ready for actionable tools and heartfelt conversations that will help you create a relationship that feels fulfilling, this podcast is for you.