When Declarative Language Activates The Nervous System

In this insightful episode, Kristy explores the complex interactions between declarative language and the nervous system in individuals with PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance). She delves into the often misunderstood dynamics of communication strategies and their unintended impacts on anxiety and trust. The discussion begins by addressing the intuitive intelligence of children with PDA, who may perceive declarative language as a mere strategy, thus heightening their anxiety and resistance. Kristy emphasizes the importance of building trust and genuine connections rather than relying on direct or scripted communication, which can come across as inauthentic and exacerbate hypervigilance. A significant portion of the conversation focuses on the real-life implications of using declarative language, such as managing daily routines like nasal spray usage for hay fever. Kristy highlights how even well-intentioned suggestions can trigger defensive reactions, underscoring the need for transparency and honesty in interactions. Moreover, Kristy thoughtfully examines the broader societal pressures that influence parental behaviour and the pursuit of "correct" methods. She encourages a shift towards more authentic, relationship-focused approaches that prioritize long-term trust over immediate compliance. Listeners are left with a powerful message about the value of acknowledging efforts, both of themselves and their children, in navigating the delicate balance of support and independence. This episode not only provides practical advice but also offers a deep understanding of the emotional landscape of families dealing with PDA, promoting a compassionate and informed approach to parenting and interpersonal relationships.

Om Podcasten

As the host of a unique and impactful podcast, Kristy Forbes combines her professional experience as an educator with a special interest in Pathological Demand Avoidance with a personal touch. She brings an authentic voice to the dialogue on neurodivergence, drawing from her own experiences as an autistic adult, a parent to neurodivergent children, and a professional in the field. KF's mission (and dreaming) invites families and carers to imagine transcending conventional approaches in supporting their children and loved ones; invites professionals to dismantle traditional power imbalances & social hierarchies rooted in privilege and to disengage from power imbalances and engage in meaningful, community-level presence and deep listening. Most importantly, Kristy offers a reframe; an alternate perspective of what it truly means to be neurodivergent and how we both formulate and cultivate a positive sense of autistic identity and culture within a neuronormative society. Her passion stems from a commitment and drive to decolonise and dismantle the ways in which we hear one another and begin to rewrite what the textbooks say we are, as neurodivergent people and communities. With radical acceptance.