Kirsten Miller on channelling our inner rages and cultivating our power
In this episode of the podcast I’m joined by New York Times bestselling author Kirsten Miller to talk about her debut adult novel The Change – described on her website as “Big Little Lies meets The Witches of Eastwick—a gloriously entertaining and knife-sharp feminist revenge fantasy about three women whose midlife crisis brings unexpected new powers—putting them on a collision course with the evil that lurks in their wealthy beach town.” Kirsten spent twenty-five years as a strategist in the ad industry – an experience that inspired several memorable scenes in the book as we flash back through protagonist Harriett’s career and the events that have led her to develop some rather unorthodox new hobbies that are ruffling the feathers of Mattauk’s residents. She is soon joined by Jo, whose perimenopausal rages manifest in unexpected ways, and Nessa, who hears the voices of the dead girls who bring the trio together, sending them on the dramatic hunt for answers that puts them at odds with the powerful men of Mattauk. Power is the thread that runs through this book, from the new-found powers the women are learning to channel, and to live with, to the traditional male power that takes what it feels entitled to (and fully expects to get away with whatever damage it causes as it does so). As Kirsten points out during our interview, Gen X - the cohort of us that are now coming into our menopausal years - are the most powerful generation of women in the history of the world. We are in uncharted territory, and only really learning the full extent of that power, and how we pass it on to younger generations. As a consequence, there are many places where this has led to a backlash that will try to squash and push back those hard-won rights and powers. We talk too about shame, and how we absolutely need to be embracing conversations about our bodies without shame – Kirsten contrasts the experiences of her own teenage daughter’s generation, so much more fearless and so unwilling to put up with stigma around topics like menstruation. She likens perimenopause to “a wave you have to ride” – which I absolutely love. We also touch on the topic of rage: perhaps, Kirsten suggests, there are very good reasons for us to be angry, and instead of ‘treating’ the symptom, instead we need to channel and focus that anger, harness it and feel its power. Kirsten is currently working on her next two books. The Change is published in paperback here in the UK on 13th April. https://www.kirstenmillerbooks.com/ You can also find us over on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/middlingalong_podcast/ and you can listen to past episodes/subscribe to the newsletter at https://middlingalong.com It would mean so much if you’d subscribe, rate, and review us to share the love and help others find the podcast too! You can also find me at https://www.instagram.com/managingthemenopause or at www.managingthemenopause.com where we offer 1-1 coaching and workplace training.