The Gift of Holiday Men

Kema Christian-Coates’s childhood was filled with “holiday men,” absentee fathers — including her own — who returned each year around Christmas only to disappear again. Her father’s absence left a hole in her life and the fear that she, like her mother and grandmother, would never find a man she could rely on. Today, we hear Kema’s story on realizing the power of her mother and grandmother’s presence in her life and on finding a lasting partnership.

Om Podcasten

For 20 years, the Modern Love column has given New York Times readers a glimpse into the complicated love lives of real people. Since its start, the column has evolved into a TV show, three books and a podcast. Each week, host Anna Martin brings you stories and conversations about love in all its glorious permutations, dumb pitfalls and life-changing moments. New episodes every Wednesday. Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Listen to this podcast in New York Times Audio, our new iOS app for news subscribers. Download now at nytimes.com/audioapp