A superb footballer name, defenders shooting from 30 yards and throw-in paranoia

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field the listeners' January entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are assistant referees refusing to touch the ball at any point, the geographical hierarchy of English football, tiny ways of keeping yourself amused during televised games you don’t really care about, the "anti-urging" of a centre-back to shoot from 30 yards, journalists tweeting goal updates from games everyone is watching anyway and some very relatable throw-in paranoia. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy a 90s Irish footballer with a glorious name and question if two players can “swap goals” in a 1-1 draw. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Om Podcasten

Deconstructing the gloriously unique language of football – the words, the phrases and the tiny things you didn't think you cared about – with Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN