41 - DATING - Are they poor at communication or are they avoidantly attached? Exploring the Avoidant Attachment Style

Ever dated an avoidant man or woman? They disappear when conflict starts or a conversation heats up? You feel like you get close to them, but never quite fully there? Maybe you are one yourself and other people feel ‘too needy, too much’, or that being independent and alone is safer and less hectic. Maybe you don't see the point in talking about your feelings, don't like to depend on others for help, think relationships are a lot of work or just prefer 'being mysterious?' If this is you, or it sounds like your partner, this episode is for you. After the success of our anxious attachment series, we know you will take deep value from this episode  Louise Rumball & clinical psychologist Dr Tari Mack discuss: ⇢What is an avoidant attachment style ⇢How did it form in childhood ⇢What are avoidantly attached people actually scared of (you might be surprised!) ⇢Why do the avoidantly attached live life with a ‘buffer’ between them and others  ⇢Why the fear of true intimacy drives an intermittent reinforcement cycle ⇢Why an anxiously attached person is often an avoidantly attached person’s worst nightmare ⇢Why you can never truly thrive with an avoidant attachment until you are working on it ⇢How conflict can actually bring you closer together if you learn to regulate your attachment style And more! Louise also shares her own experiences with: The difference between solutions based love and reassurance based love when in conflict ⇢Tolerating avoidantly attached relationships ⇢Trying to pull men closer to get them to experience true intimacy; and ⇢ Dr Tari shares why there is only one person who can fully break the cycle. If you are anxiously attached, be sure to listen to Episodes 38, 39 and 40 of the podcast before getting into this one.  ------ HEALING HONEYS (formerly OPENHOUSE)- STREAM MORE 🤍 Stream Healing Honeys on Spotify 🤍 Stream Healing Honeys on Apple Podcasts 🤍 Stream Healing Honeys on YouTube 🤍 Join Ad free listening CONNECT WITH LOUISE 💌 Connect with Louise on Instagram & TikTok 💌 Connect with Healing Honeys on Instagram 💌 Submit a question to the Healing Honeys Hotline 💌 TRASH TALKS: Submit Your Awful Dating Stories HEAL WITH LOUISE ✨ 7 Day Somatic Healing Trial: Daily Devotion ✨ Therapy + Healing PDFs: Therapy Shop ✨ 7 Day Free Confidence Queen Overhaul: Waitlist Sign Up ✨ There She Glows: 12 Week Life Transformation: Waitlist Sign Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Healing Honeys is your modern guide to wellness and healing. This is *the* podcast for girls with big dreams who are trying to balance it all and heal along the way. Join Louise Rumball—serial entrepreneur, fiery Sagittarius, type-A overachiever, healing girlie, holistic wellness coach, and relationship expert (someone once called her the "Jesus of modern dating" so you know this is going to be fun). Louise’s healing journey has been anything but calm. Think: savage dating stories, harrowing breakups, 20 cigarettes a day, daddy issues, an anxious attachment style, and even an autoimmune disorder too. Fast forward to today, after spending thousands on healing and therapy, she’s here to guide you, love you, and laugh with you as she shares the tips, tricks, and rituals that saved her—and that ACTUALLY work. With new episodes every Wednesday, expect girl talk, psychology, nervous system insights, and conversations about love, sex, dating, wellness, fitness, a touch of business, and a sprinkle of spirituality too. So, get in, honey—we’re balancing healing, hustling, and life, and trust us, the best is yet to come!