42 - DATING - The fearful avoidant attachment style, how to communicate without being toxic and how to know if your partner is ever going to change

The attachment style - fearful avoidant, also known as ‘disorganized’ is often overlooked. Do you feel like you want to be close to people and want their love, but when you get close, you feel like it is a dangerous space to be in? Maybe you push people away before they can push you away, but deep down want to be and feel loved? Did you experience deeply stressful, neglectful or abusive situations as a child that make you feel that love is not only scary, but sometimes actually dangerous? Do you expect or fear people might hurt you?  If this is you, or it sounds like your partner, this episode is for you. Louise Rumball & clinical psychologist Dr Tari Mack discuss: ⇢What is a disorganized attachment style ⇢How did it form in childhood ⇢What are disorganized people actually scared of (you might be surprised!) ⇢What’s the difference between feeling fearful and avoidant in life or dating and actually having a disorganized attachment style? Plus, we discuss what happens & what to do when a partner is not working on their attachment style. Louise asks Dr Tari:  ⇢How patient should you be with someone’s attachment style? ⇢Is an attachment style enough to break up with someone for? ⇢What to do if someone’s attachment style is bringing you unhappiness? ⇢And, ultimately, how conflict can actually bring you closer together if you learn to regulate your attachment style And more!  Louise also shares her own experiences with a ‘disorganized’ ex boyfriend and how one moment changed the entire relationship.  ------ HEALING HONEYS (formerly OPENHOUSE)- STREAM MORE 🤍 Stream Healing Honeys on Spotify 🤍 Stream Healing Honeys on Apple Podcasts 🤍 Stream Healing Honeys on YouTube 🤍 Join Ad free listening CONNECT WITH LOUISE 💌 Connect with Louise on Instagram & TikTok 💌 Connect with Healing Honeys on Instagram 💌 Submit a question to the Healing Honeys Hotline 💌 TRASH TALKS: Submit Your Awful Dating Stories HEAL WITH LOUISE ✨ 7 Day Somatic Healing Trial: Daily Devotion ✨ Therapy + Healing PDFs: Therapy Shop ✨ 7 Day Free Confidence Queen Overhaul: Waitlist Sign Up ✨ There She Glows: 12 Week Life Transformation: Waitlist Sign Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Healing Honeys is your modern guide to wellness and healing. This is *the* podcast for girls with big dreams who are trying to balance it all and heal along the way. Join Louise Rumball—serial entrepreneur, fiery Sagittarius, type-A overachiever, healing girlie, holistic wellness coach, and relationship expert (someone once called her the "Jesus of modern dating" so you know this is going to be fun). Louise’s healing journey has been anything but calm. Think: savage dating stories, harrowing breakups, 20 cigarettes a day, daddy issues, an anxious attachment style, and even an autoimmune disorder too. Fast forward to today, after spending thousands on healing and therapy, she’s here to guide you, love you, and laugh with you as she shares the tips, tricks, and rituals that saved her—and that ACTUALLY work. With new episodes every Wednesday, expect girl talk, psychology, nervous system insights, and conversations about love, sex, dating, wellness, fitness, a touch of business, and a sprinkle of spirituality too. So, get in, honey—we’re balancing healing, hustling, and life, and trust us, the best is yet to come!