327: 🐺The Wolf You Feed — On Addiction, Recovery & Codependency — and What We Get Wrong About All Three with Eric Zimmer

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At 24 years old, Eric Zimmer was homeless, addicted to heroin, and facing jail time. In the decades since, he has found a way to recover from addiction and build a life worth living for himself, while coaching others through his programs and award-winning podcast The One You Feed, based on an old parable about two wolves at battle within us (a story I also share in Pivot). We had the great pleasure of recording in person—while meeting for the first time! This was extra special because of how much Eric generously shares about his pivots through addiction and recovery, the deeper needs beneath destructive coping habits, how challenging addiction can be on friends and family, and what the literature often gets wrong about codependency. More About Eric: For the past 20 years, Eric Zimmer has worked as a behavior coach. He’s also a Certified Interfaith Spiritual Director, podcaster, and writer, who is endlessly inspired by the quest for a greater understanding of how our minds work and how to intellectually create the lives we want to live. Since 2014, he has been hosting the award-winning podcast, The One You Feed, based on an old parable about two wolves at battle within us. His story and his work have been featured in the media including TEDx, Mind Body Green, Elephant Journal, the BBC, and Brain Pickings. 🌟 3 Key Takeaways Gabor Maté says addiction is often “a person’s attempted solution to a deeper problem” of connection and love. Giving up behaviors that comfort us, numb us, or artificially connect us is possible if we seek true assurance, acceptance, and real connection—those are the ingredients that lead to human thriving—but only in their true forms. Anxiety and trying to “fix” things takes a lot of energy. If you have a loved one who is stuck in a cycle of addiction, start by shifting your focus from worrying to discovering what you can control, and what actions will allow you to refuel, so you can take care of yourself and others. ✅ Try This Next: Sometimes, in the moment, there isn’t anything to do about it other than be upset, and that’s okay. When you’re in a dark space, recognize it and feel what you’re feeling, while keeping your mind open to change. 🔗 Resources Mentioned Eric on the web, IG: @one_you_feed, Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook Eric’s podcast: The One You Feed Articles: Behavior Change Components, Life’s “Dark Hallways”: Where Transformation Happens, Emotional First Aid: Uncertainty, Fear, and Anxiety, Fogg Behavior Model: What Causes Behavior Change? Video: TEDxColumbus: The Battle of Changing Your Behavior 📚 Books Mentioned The Wisdom of Anxiety by Sheryl Paul Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, When the Body Says No, and The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté Future Tense: Why Anxiety Is Good for You (Even Though It Feels Bad) by Tracy Dennis-Tiwary Free Time: Lose the Busywork, Love Your Business Pivot: The Only Move That Matters Is Your Next One Life After College Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change: A Guide for Families 🎧 Related Episodes The One You Feed: How to Create a Spiritual Principal Centered Life with Eric Zimmer Free Time: 077: Happy Launch Day! Antonio Neves Guest Hosts (Part 1) and 079 (Part 2) Pivot: 124: Penney & Jenny Show — Embracing Liminal Space (the In-Between) 317: “We are the Refresh Generation” — Shifting Out of Reality Escape Artist Mode with Paul Angone 92: Adulting to Win: Powerful Questions and Pivotal Plot Points with Paul Angone 305: Is What You Are Wanting Actually What’s Best For You? With Luke Burgis 316: “Don’t Suffer Twice” 312: Are you Future-Tripping? 📝 Check out full show notes at http://pivotmethod.com/327 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices