PodCastle 886: Houyi the Archer Fights the Sun
* Author : Cynthia Zhang * Narrator : Curtis C. Chen * Host : Shingai Njeri Kagunda * Audio Producer : Eric Valdes * Discuss on Forums PodCastle 886: Houyi the Archer Fights the Sun is a PodCastle original. Rated PG-13 Houyi the Archer Fights the Sun by Cynthia Zhang “I,” Houyi the Archer says one bright August afternoon when the thermometers hit 103 and the teenagers crack eggs on the sidewalk to see if they’ll fry, “am going to fight the sun.” “Husband,” says Chang’E, three thousand years into immortality and long past reacting to these types of statements, “please do not fight the sun. We only have the one left, and most people would not appreciate having it gone.” “Some might, though.” Above them, the ceiling fan whirls, valiantly trying to assuage the heat. The maintenance company, when Houyi called, gave the next available date for fixing the air conditioning as Monday, which — while not too far away — is crucially not today. “The tanuki pack in Arlington Heights or all those hipster vamp kids in Logan Square, I’m sure they’d come down to personally thank me. Besides, I didn’t say I was going to kill the sun. Just rough it up a little, teach it a few lessons about respect.” “A truly terrifying prospect. Gods and men tremble at your approach, naught but the bravest of heroes can dare but stand when you draw near.” On her Sudoku puzzle, Chang’E pencils in a seven, frowns, and then erases it. “Humans have lived thousands of years without air conditioning, Houyi. We can survive a few days.” “Aiyah, but that was thousands of years ago, before we had electricity and coal and acid in our rain. This sun’s been getting far too bold, I say. In the old days, I would already have a fast mount and a full quiver to chase the whelp down.” “If you are mulling over old battles,” Chang’E says, “perhaps it would be better if you had something else to occupy your mind.” Placing her Sudoku book on the coffee table, she stands up. “I have a task for you, my husband.” The effects of these words are instant. “A task, is it? Well! Let’s have it. What is it you need, my best beloved? The first fallen feather from a newborn phoenix, a sprig of new buds from the world tree, the last dried slices from this millennia’s crop of divine peaches on Kunlun Mountain?” “Something like that.” Chang’E takes her purse off the wall hook, smooths down an errant wrinkle in her dress. “We are in need of groceries once more, my beloved. I would appreciate your help in seeing this task to completion.” “In this weather? Do you care so little for your husband that you would have him roasted to ashes?” “I care enough for my husband that I would not have him starve, yes. Besides, we’ll be spending most of the time indoors, and the stores have air conditioning.” “The trials we must brave in this cruel world,” Houyi says, sighing as he reaches for his cane. “To think that after all our years of service, this is how the world repays its heroes of lore: with broken air conditioning and technicians unavailable until Monday.” “Don’t forget to put on sunscreen,” Chang’E says, checking her sunhat in the hallway mirror. “You may have bested his brothers before, but the sun is still a formidable foe.” Houyi, dutifully trundling their shopping cart across narrow sidewalks and cracked asphalt, is sweating by the time they reach Tai Hwa Market. On instinct,