“Why Is My Child So Defiant!?”: What’s Really Going On (& Why Labeling Children Isn’t Helpful)

If you spend just a minute Googling, you’ll see hundreds of results on how to deal with a "defiant” child. By “defiant”, we typically mean a child who’s purposefully digging her heels in & outright refusing to comply. We think of this child as difficult and problematic, and most of the Google results suggest punishment as a remedy.   In this week’s episode, I offer a different perspective. I don’t believe in calling kids defiant; I think doing so puts us in a mindset where we can’t parent effectively. I share why I think this term is harmful – to our kids and to us as parents – and why labels in general aren’t helpful in parenting.   Here’s the thing: If our ultimate goal is to raise resilient kids and to parent in a way that genuinely feels good, then we need to pay attention to the language we use. We need to think & talk about our kids in a way that prioritizes connection and holds onto a sense of their inherent goodness, even in the most difficult moments.    FREE Mindset Shifts to Ditch the Overwhelm & Parent in a Way That Feels GOOD!: https://www.raisedresilient.com/mindset   Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisedresilient/

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Parenting is the hardest job ever – and parenting a highly sensitive child who’s struggling can feel downright impossible. If you’re suffering through endless meltdowns and aggressive behaviors, walking on eggshells, and losing sleep worrying, you’ve landed in the right place. Because I’m here to help you feel GOOD about parenting your sensitive kid with big emotions! I’m Dr. Hilary – clinical psychologist and mom of 3 helping you end the constant meltdowns and reclaim peace in your home. Join me each week on the Raised Resilient Podcast as I help you make sense of your sensitive child’s challenging behaviors & build resilience in the face of their big emotions. I’ll help you understand your child’s behavior (and your reactions to it!) so that even the really hard moments make more sense. I’ll empower you with tools, strategies, and scripts to navigate those really hard moments with connection and confidence. (And I’ll remind you that no tool, strategy, or script is as powerful as your parenting ace – your relationship with your child!) I’m passionate about parenting differently – parenting in a way that sees all kids as good, even when they’re struggling. I’m passionate about breaking unhelpful generational cycles and putting a hard stop to spanking, time outs, shaming, and yelling -- for all kids and especially for sensitive kids with big emotions. I want to help you stop worrying about whether you’re “raising them right” and feel confident that your kids will grow up trusting themselves and feeling comfortable in their skin … because they were raised resilient. And that’s big. Because raising our kids resilient can literally make this world a better place. Listen, parenting is hard no matter how you do it. You won’t “enjoy every moment”, no matter what that lady at the store says. But I’m here to help you go from just barely surviving with to parenting in a way that genuinely feels good, for you and your child. So, warm up your coffee and grab your ear buds. It’s time to turn your child’s sensitivity into their SUPERPOWER! Connect with me: https://www.raisedresilient.com/ IG: @raisedresilient Get your Free Mastering for Sensitive Kids Meltdowns Guide: https://www.raisedresilient.com/meltdowns Take my free QUIZ to see if you’ve got a sensitive kid: https://www.raisedresilient.com/quiz Book your free Breakthrough Session! https://www.raisedresilient.com/breakthrough