199. Understanding the Four Horsemen of Conflict

This episode features insights from John and Julie Gottman's research on conflict in marriage, advocating for healthy disagreement as a key component of intimacy and trust in relationships. Host Becky debunks myths about conflict-free marriages, introduces the concept of 'soft startup' for resolving disagreements, and discusses how to avoid the 'four horsemen of the apocalypse' (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling) for better communication. 00:00 Welcome to the Healthy Conflict Series 00:11 The Importance of Healthy Conflict in Marriage 00:45 Learning from the Gottmans: Embracing Conflict for Intimacy 03:30 Understanding Your Conflict Culture 04:08 The Gottmans' Five Steps to Resolving Conflict 05:19 Identifying and Overcoming the Four Horsemen 10:01 Self-Reflection and Improvement Exercise 14:09 Practicing Healthy Conflict Responses 15:30 Homework and Preview for Next Week

Om Podcasten

Welcome to "Resentment-Free Relationships," where we get real about fixing relationships without the drama. If you're tired of feeling constantly drained and weighed down by resentment, this is where you can stop people pleasing and pretending. Regain your sense of self, learn to set boundaries, and create the meaningful relationships you've always craved.