15: How to respectfully teach your children respect
I get a lot of feedback on my Instagram reels about how I am NOT teaching my children to be respectful. While I could debate that, I don’t need to waste my energy because I know that's not true AND I know that I’m teaching my kids “respect” but in a different way. I am teaching my kids kindness, empathy, compassion, how to work in a group setting, generosity, and how to make a kind request vs. a demand. I believe respect can only be learned once it is modeled. And the only way it's truly integrated and not a forced behavior is when it’s modeled TO your children. So I model respect by simply asking “Is that a request or a demand” when they ask me for something. Instead of shaming them into respect by saying “You’re not allowed to talk to me like that!” I calmly say “Hey buddy, was that a request or a demand?” They instantly understand that they’ve barked an order, and they adjust by adding please, they adopt a different tone, and they ask a complete sentence soaking in “respect.” I haven’t had to beat the idea of “say your please and thank yous!” into them. They understand it because we practice dozens of times a day on how to make your words land with kindness and generosity vs. demands and orders.