35: “Should I ask him if he’s still transgender?”

A year ago, my 16 year old son told us he is transgender. I was completely shocked, as he is not particularly feminine. My son was very emotional and begged us to allow him to use puberty blockers or estrogen. We managed to delay his pursuit through distraction and some bargaining, though I often feel like I'm lying to him or manipulating him. We are now in social isolation due to the coronavirus lockdown. My son actually seems happier than he has all year and, out of the blue, he went on a three hour walk with a girl, who he says he's now dating. My question is, what do I do next? Should I ask him if he's still transgender? I feel like I'm walking on a tightrope with him but, is this just what it's like to raise a teenager?”   In this episode Lisa mentions the book,  “Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers” by Gordon Neufeld & Gabor Maté: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hold-Your-Kids-Parents-Matter/dp/0375760288  

Om Podcasten

Secrets of the Motherworld is a podcast created to help mothers feel less alone. We're two psychotherapists with a special interest in parenting. Listeners send us their anonymous stories about their own experiences in the Motherworld -- experiences that are too intensely private to share anywhere else. Each week, we read a listener's story and give our own reflections. It's a thoughtful exploration of the most intimate aspects of motherhood.