SFP 041 | Alfie Kohn Explains Why Punishments And Rewards Are Really the Same Thing; The Impacts of Parenting Approach on Moral Character; And the Consequences of Conditional Parenting
When you tell your child, "Don't let me catch you doing that again!", will they stop? Or will they just try harder the next time to make sure they don't get caught! That's one of the issues our parenting expert Alfie Kohn uncovers as problematic in the conditional parenting approach. He advocates for an approach to parenting that values children for who they are and not simply how they behave. Kohn argues that the conditional approach sends a message to the child that they are loveable when they do the right things and not loveable when they don't. Although conditional parenting is quite ingrained in our culture, the research shows it has a less than ideal impact on forming moral character. It raises the question: what do you really want for your child's future?