Ep. 102: Why teenage girls have more power than you think

My guest today has written a book about how much we underestimate teenage girls, and why we'd do well as parents to listen more to what they have to say. Chelsey Goodan has interviewed dozens of teenage girls about what's going on in their lives, and what they need from adults in order to thrive. We talk about perfectionism and self-esteem, shame around sexuality, and the best way to get teenagers to develop a healthy relationship with their phones and social media – spoiler alert, it doesn't involve banning apps and confiscating their phones. Chelsey talks about her own experience of being a people-pleaser as a teenager. Always wanting to be the 'good girl', Chelsey didn't realise how much this tendency was hurting her. She goes on to tell us how she became a 'recovering perfectionist' and gives some ideas to support mothers who have carried perfectionism into their parenting journey. She also tells me that trying to protect our girls can backfire by giving them a victim mentality. Instead, she says, we need to empower teenage girls to trust their own inner voices, know what they need, and have agency over their own safety and directions. She answers the question "is social media dangerous" and has an interesting take on how we can introduce our teenagers to smartphones.  Chelsey has written a great book about how what teenage girls are really feeling and how judged they often feel. It's a brilliant explanation of what's going on for our daughters and how we can support them more constructively to be the best they can be emotionally. You can find Chelsey's book here: * Underestimated: The wisdom and power of teenage girls [https://amzn.to/4hKA0Ed] (affiliate link) * Chelsey's website [https://www.chelseygoodan.com/] * Chelsey on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/chelseygoodan/] More teenage parenting from Helen Wills * Helen Wills Counselling and Parent Coaching [https://helenwills.com/] * Actually Mummy parenting teens blog [https://www.actuallymummy.co.uk/] * Helen on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/iamhelenwills/] Thank you for listening! Subscribe to the Teenage Kicks podcast to hear new episodes. If you have a suggestion for the podcast please email helen@actuallymummy.co.uk. For information on your data privacy please visit Zencastr's policy page [https://zencastr.com/privacy-policy] Please note that Helen Wills is not a medical expert, and nothing in the podcast should be taken as medical advice. If you're worried about yourself or a teenager, please seek support from a medical professional. Episode produced by Michael J Cunningham [https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-j-cunningham-245586266/]

Om Podcasten

Welcome to the Teenage Kicks podcast, where we take the fear out of parenting - or becoming - a teenager. The internet is full of parenting advice, from when you feel those first baby kicks, until they reach secondary school. And then it stops. No one is talking about teen parenting problems; so we’re going to. Essential listening for teenagers and their parents, as well as those who work with young adults; Teenage Kicks has teen mental health at its core, and each episode will empower young people to tackle their own problems, and give parents the guidance to know how to help them. Each week Helen speaks to real individuals who've experienced the issues that young people are dealing with now, and they don't sugar-coat it. From exam nerves and career worries to issues around sexuality and consent, we get tips and advice from expert guests who understand what it’s like to be a teenager today. Helen will also be chatting about tough teenage problems like cyberbullying and self-harm, drugs, alcohol and teenage pregnancy, all with a heavy dose of reality from someone who's been there and made it through to the other side. Teenage Kicks for Parents: As parents, we understand some of our kids’ struggles, but let’s face it, it’s been a while, and things have moved on since we last panicked over a detention! Teenage choices today can seem alien to their parents because teenage life has changed so dramatically since we were young. Teenage Kicks helps you unravel topics like social media, sexting and teen self-esteem so that you can figure out what your child needs support with, and what’s just normal teenage behaviour.   Teenage Kicks for Teens: Teenagers and parents come at things from different angles, we know. But teenage life can be challenging, and the support of your parents can make navigating tricky dilemmas easier. Teenage Kicks guests aren’t adults who’ve read a textbook; nor are they heavily invested in your day-to-day safety, like your mum and dad. They are real people who’ve been through what you’re dealing with, and they have the inspiration and advice you need to handle it yourself. Join Helen each week as she chats to a different guest about topics affecting teenagers in 2020, and helps parents and teens to open up a dialogue that will make life easier to navigate on all sides. You'll also find me chatting about teen parenting here: * Actually Mummy [https://actuallymummy.co.uk/] - my personal blog * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/iamhelenwills/] * Twitter [https://twitter.com/iamhelenwills] Useful websites: * The Mix [https://www.themix.org.uk/]- good information for under 25's * Shout [https://www.giveusashout.org/] - for anyone struggling with anxiety or depression This series of the Teenage Kicks Podcast is sponsored by Blue Microphones [https://www.blue-designs.co.uk/], who gave me the fabulous Yeticaster mic for all my recordings. It's really straightforward to use, and gives me great sound quality without too much editing.