Ep. 32: Life as an off the rails teenager - how Nina put her life back together

In this episode of the Teenage Kicks Podcast Helen Wills talks to Nina de Sausmarez about how she went off the rails as a teenager, using sex to seek validation from men, after being abandoned by her father. Helen says:  As the mother of teenagers, this conversation with Nina felt like therapy for me. Here's what Nina had to say about her life as a teen, and what it's taught her about motherhood: "Having been through a hugely turbulent childhood and teenage years myself where my emotional needs were not met, I take a bold stand for 'no topics are off limits' in my approach to parenting. I actively encourage conversations about sex, drugs, and everything in between.  I let go of my need to 'fix their problems' and have no attachment to the choices they make and the direction they want to go in their lives. I actively step back and allow them to learn from all their mistakes.  My girls do not come first. I make sure I do. I'm sure many find that controversial!. By doing so, they are strong feminists, hugely confident, resilient and unafraid to try, no matter the outcome. Our bond is incredible and I am proud of how i've been able to let go of my past experiences and use it in such a powerful way to empower and support them. Nina has some advice for parents on what to do when your teenager goes off the rails, and tips for teens who might be experiencing difficult emotions like she did. As the mother of two girls aged 20 and 15 she also has some incredible insights into parenting. I had so many lightbulb moments during this episode. I know you will too! Where to find Nina Nina de Sausmarez is a confidence coach for women and those identifying as. You can find her on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/coachingwithnina/], where she is happy to be contacted via DM. More teenage parenting tips from Helen Wills: There are lots more episodes of the Teenage Kicks podcast. You can email me on teenagekickspodcast@gmail.com. I've also got some posts on the blog that might help parents with other teenage parenting dilemmas, so do pop over to Actually Mummy [https://www.actuallymummy.co.uk/] if you fancy a read. Thank you so much for listening! Subscribe [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/teenage-kicks-podcast/id1501488455] now to the Teenage Kicks podcast to hear all my new episodes. I'll be talking to some fabulous guests about difficult things that happened to them as teenagers - including losing a parent [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/how-do-you-cope-loss-parent-when-youre-teenager-ryan/id1501488455?i=1000495564421], becoming a young carer [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/danielle-on-being-a-young-carer-for-her-alcoholic-mum/id1501488455?i=1000468538022], and being hospitalised with mental health problems [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/emma-bradley-on-being-hospitalised-mental-health-problems/id1501488455?i=1000470008123] - and how they overcame things to move on with their lives. You can also find more from Helen Wills on parenting teenagers on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/iamhelenwills/] and Twitter [https://twitter.com/iamhelenwills] @iamhelenwills. For information on your data privacy please visit Podcast.co. [https://www.podcast.co/privacy] Please note that Helen Wills is not a medical expert, and nothing in the podcast should be taken as medical advice. If you're worried about a teenager, please seek support from a medical professional.

Om Podcasten

Welcome to the Teenage Kicks podcast, where we take the fear out of parenting - or becoming - a teenager. The internet is full of parenting advice, from when you feel those first baby kicks, until they reach secondary school. And then it stops. No one is talking about teen parenting problems; so we’re going to. Essential listening for teenagers and their parents, as well as those who work with young adults; Teenage Kicks has teen mental health at its core, and each episode will empower young people to tackle their own problems, and give parents the guidance to know how to help them. Each week Helen speaks to real individuals who've experienced the issues that young people are dealing with now, and they don't sugar-coat it. From exam nerves and career worries to issues around sexuality and consent, we get tips and advice from expert guests who understand what it’s like to be a teenager today. Helen will also be chatting about tough teenage problems like cyberbullying and self-harm, drugs, alcohol and teenage pregnancy, all with a heavy dose of reality from someone who's been there and made it through to the other side. Teenage Kicks for Parents: As parents, we understand some of our kids’ struggles, but let’s face it, it’s been a while, and things have moved on since we last panicked over a detention! Teenage choices today can seem alien to their parents because teenage life has changed so dramatically since we were young. Teenage Kicks helps you unravel topics like social media, sexting and teen self-esteem so that you can figure out what your child needs support with, and what’s just normal teenage behaviour.   Teenage Kicks for Teens: Teenagers and parents come at things from different angles, we know. But teenage life can be challenging, and the support of your parents can make navigating tricky dilemmas easier. Teenage Kicks guests aren’t adults who’ve read a textbook; nor are they heavily invested in your day-to-day safety, like your mum and dad. They are real people who’ve been through what you’re dealing with, and they have the inspiration and advice you need to handle it yourself. Join Helen each week as she chats to a different guest about topics affecting teenagers in 2020, and helps parents and teens to open up a dialogue that will make life easier to navigate on all sides. You'll also find me chatting about teen parenting here: * Actually Mummy [https://actuallymummy.co.uk/] - my personal blog * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/iamhelenwills/] * Twitter [https://twitter.com/iamhelenwills] Useful websites: * The Mix [https://www.themix.org.uk/]- good information for under 25's * Shout [https://www.giveusashout.org/] - for anyone struggling with anxiety or depression This series of the Teenage Kicks Podcast is sponsored by Blue Microphones [https://www.blue-designs.co.uk/], who gave me the fabulous Yeticaster mic for all my recordings. It's really straightforward to use, and gives me great sound quality without too much editing.