Ep. 34: Stop seeking validation from others! How to help your teen tackle low-self esteem.

My guest in this episode knows a thing or two about low self-esteem! Raised in a strict Irish Catholic family, Amanda Ryall never felt like she fitted in at home or at school. Helen Wills talks to Amanda about how he struggled with academic work and thought of herself as 'stupid,' eventually seeking validation in the views of others for her self-worth. Amanda eventually realised that the needy behaviour she used to get attention as as child didn't work in the adult world, and set about changing her outlook on life and her own happiness. We talk about: * How we unknowingly take on our family narrative, and how it impacts our thought processes. * Labelling, and the self-perpetuating nature of our own perceptions. * The conflict between academic pressure and being an individual that makes school expectations so difficult to navigate whilst holding onto who you are. * Showing up in the world and making your actions count in other ways than through academic merit. * How for some jobs the best person isn't necessarily the one with the most academic qualifications. Resilience, strength and perseverance count for just as much. * How freeing it is to know that there isn't just one path to success. * How spending time on yourself isn't selfish, and how freeing ourselves from the pressure of the "to-do" list helps us control stress and improve self-esteem. * The value of unconnected timea alone, and how to listen to your inner (real) voice instead of your ego's expectations of you. * How to fill your own void rather than waiting for someone/something else to do it for you. Who is Amanda Ryall?  Amanda is the best-selling author of I Choose Me [https://amzn.to/2R0fJU4], and creator of the Mood Munchers [https://amzn.to/3xyeKeH] book series for children. She was nominated for Global Woman of the Year 2020, and is now the host of her own podcast You Choose You Now [https://open.spotify.com/show/2uE18lgrGbLl2maGsAySpw], where she talks about letting go of negative self-talk, instead choosing who you are really meant to be. You can connect with Amanda below: * Amandahryall.com [https://amandahryall.com/] * You Choose You Now Facebook group [https://www.facebook.com/groups/865514500895307] * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/amandaryallhill/] More teenage parenting tips from Helen Wills: There are lots more episodes of the Teenage Kicks podcast. You can email me on teenagekickspodcast@gmail.com. I've also got some posts on the blog that might help parents with other teenage parenting dilemmas, so do pop over to Actually Mummy [https://www.actuallymummy.co.uk/] if you fancy a read. Thank you so much for listening! Subscribe [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/teenage-kicks-podcast/id1501488455] now to the Teenage Kicks podcast to hear all my new episodes. I'll be talking to some fabulous guests about difficult things that happened to them as teenagers - including losing a parent [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/how-do-you-cope-loss-parent-when-youre-teenager-ryan/id1501488455?i=1000495564421], becoming a young carer [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/danielle-on-being-a-young-carer-for-her-alcoholic-mum/id1501488455?i=1000468538022], and being hospitalised with mental health problems [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/emma-bradley-on-being-hospitalised-mental-health-problems/id1501488455?i=1000470008123] - and how they overcame things to move on

Om Podcasten

Welcome to the Teenage Kicks podcast, where we take the fear out of parenting - or becoming - a teenager. The internet is full of parenting advice, from when you feel those first baby kicks, until they reach secondary school. And then it stops. No one is talking about teen parenting problems; so we’re going to. Essential listening for teenagers and their parents, as well as those who work with young adults; Teenage Kicks has teen mental health at its core, and each episode will empower young people to tackle their own problems, and give parents the guidance to know how to help them. Each week Helen speaks to real individuals who've experienced the issues that young people are dealing with now, and they don't sugar-coat it. From exam nerves and career worries to issues around sexuality and consent, we get tips and advice from expert guests who understand what it’s like to be a teenager today. Helen will also be chatting about tough teenage problems like cyberbullying and self-harm, drugs, alcohol and teenage pregnancy, all with a heavy dose of reality from someone who's been there and made it through to the other side. Teenage Kicks for Parents: As parents, we understand some of our kids’ struggles, but let’s face it, it’s been a while, and things have moved on since we last panicked over a detention! Teenage choices today can seem alien to their parents because teenage life has changed so dramatically since we were young. Teenage Kicks helps you unravel topics like social media, sexting and teen self-esteem so that you can figure out what your child needs support with, and what’s just normal teenage behaviour.   Teenage Kicks for Teens: Teenagers and parents come at things from different angles, we know. But teenage life can be challenging, and the support of your parents can make navigating tricky dilemmas easier. Teenage Kicks guests aren’t adults who’ve read a textbook; nor are they heavily invested in your day-to-day safety, like your mum and dad. They are real people who’ve been through what you’re dealing with, and they have the inspiration and advice you need to handle it yourself. Join Helen each week as she chats to a different guest about topics affecting teenagers in 2020, and helps parents and teens to open up a dialogue that will make life easier to navigate on all sides. You'll also find me chatting about teen parenting here: * Actually Mummy [https://actuallymummy.co.uk/] - my personal blog * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/iamhelenwills/] * Twitter [https://twitter.com/iamhelenwills] Useful websites: * The Mix [https://www.themix.org.uk/]- good information for under 25's * Shout [https://www.giveusashout.org/] - for anyone struggling with anxiety or depression This series of the Teenage Kicks Podcast is sponsored by Blue Microphones [https://www.blue-designs.co.uk/], who gave me the fabulous Yeticaster mic for all my recordings. It's really straightforward to use, and gives me great sound quality without too much editing.