Ep. 78: Childhood abuse doesn't have to define you

TW: My guest today is Debra Blackman. Debra tells us about sexual abuse that happened to her as a child, so if that's likely to be difficult for you to hear, please do switch off from this episode. Growing up in a family with an affluent facade, Debra suffered in silence from sexual abuse by a family member until she was 17. Her mother failed to see her plight. When the family moved home, Debra experienced bullying and isolation, and struggled to face the situation she was in. The abuse from her father reached a breaking point when she was 18, and she finally stood up to him, leading to her being kicked out of her own home with just £5 to her name. It's not surprising that this difficult start took Debra down a toxic path in her relationships over the next few years, but today she is a top flight banker and CEO, providing an example of how it's possible to overcome even the worst kind of experiences and build a life you can love. Debra tells us how her behaviour reflected what was happening to her, how therapy changed her mindset about her life, and how she hasn't allowed the abuse to define her. She also says how hard it was to walk away from the abuse when she was very young, and acknowledges that she wasn't ready to tackle her trauma until the time was right.  Who is Debra Blackman?  Debra is the owner of Viessentially [https://viessentially.com/], an exectuive PA service.  More teenage parenting from Helen Wills: Helen wills is a teen mental health podcaster and blogger at Actually Mummy [https://www.actuallymummy.co.uk/], a resource for midlife parents of teens. Thank you for listening! Subscribe [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/teenage-kicks-podcast/id1501488455] to the Teenage Kicks podcast to hear new episodes. If you have a suggestion for the podcast please email teenagekickspodcast@gmail.com. There are already stories from fabulous guests about difficult things that happened to them as teenagers - including losing a parent [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/how-do-you-cope-loss-parent-when-youre-teenager-ryan/id1501488455?i=1000495564421], becoming a young carer [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/danielle-on-being-a-young-carer-for-her-alcoholic-mum/id1501488455?i=1000468538022], and being hospitalised with mental health problems [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/emma-bradley-on-being-hospitalised-mental-health-problems/id1501488455?i=1000470008123] - and how they overcame things to move on with their lives. You can find more from Helen Wills on parenting teenagers on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/iamhelenwills/] and Twitter [https://twitter.com/iamhelenwills] @iamhelenwills. For information on your data privacy please visit Zencastr's policy page [https://zencastr.com/privacy-policy] Please note that Helen Wills is not a medical expert, and nothing in the podcast should be taken as medical advice. If you're worried about yourself or a teenager, please seek support from a medical professional. Podcast produced by James Ede at Be Heard [https://www.beheard.org.uk/] production.

Om Podcasten

Welcome to the Teenage Kicks podcast, where we take the fear out of parenting - or becoming - a teenager. The internet is full of parenting advice, from when you feel those first baby kicks, until they reach secondary school. And then it stops. No one is talking about teen parenting problems; so we’re going to. Essential listening for teenagers and their parents, as well as those who work with young adults; Teenage Kicks has teen mental health at its core, and each episode will empower young people to tackle their own problems, and give parents the guidance to know how to help them. Each week Helen speaks to real individuals who've experienced the issues that young people are dealing with now, and they don't sugar-coat it. From exam nerves and career worries to issues around sexuality and consent, we get tips and advice from expert guests who understand what it’s like to be a teenager today. Helen will also be chatting about tough teenage problems like cyberbullying and self-harm, drugs, alcohol and teenage pregnancy, all with a heavy dose of reality from someone who's been there and made it through to the other side. Teenage Kicks for Parents: As parents, we understand some of our kids’ struggles, but let’s face it, it’s been a while, and things have moved on since we last panicked over a detention! Teenage choices today can seem alien to their parents because teenage life has changed so dramatically since we were young. Teenage Kicks helps you unravel topics like social media, sexting and teen self-esteem so that you can figure out what your child needs support with, and what’s just normal teenage behaviour.   Teenage Kicks for Teens: Teenagers and parents come at things from different angles, we know. But teenage life can be challenging, and the support of your parents can make navigating tricky dilemmas easier. Teenage Kicks guests aren’t adults who’ve read a textbook; nor are they heavily invested in your day-to-day safety, like your mum and dad. They are real people who’ve been through what you’re dealing with, and they have the inspiration and advice you need to handle it yourself. Join Helen each week as she chats to a different guest about topics affecting teenagers in 2020, and helps parents and teens to open up a dialogue that will make life easier to navigate on all sides. You'll also find me chatting about teen parenting here: * Actually Mummy [https://actuallymummy.co.uk/] - my personal blog * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/iamhelenwills/] * Twitter [https://twitter.com/iamhelenwills] Useful websites: * The Mix [https://www.themix.org.uk/]- good information for under 25's * Shout [https://www.giveusashout.org/] - for anyone struggling with anxiety or depression This series of the Teenage Kicks Podcast is sponsored by Blue Microphones [https://www.blue-designs.co.uk/], who gave me the fabulous Yeticaster mic for all my recordings. It's really straightforward to use, and gives me great sound quality without too much editing.