(On My Mind) Working with our kids' fear

The other night, when my daughter was afraid of a house fire after an apartment block caught on fire in our little town, I realized that trying to talk her out of her fear wouldn't be helpful. Her fear didn't match what was actually happening around her and it was keeping her awake.  Fear is a feeling of trapped, so we got creative and together worked with her fear in a way that helped bring her imagination and creativity online. I'll share how the experience helped her to regulate her own fear response. 

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Parenting can lead us to a threshold in life we hadn’t known before. We're bringing into the parenting dynamic with our kids the momentum of our previous experiences - our resources and resilience, as well as our disconnection and disembodiment due to trauma (individual, familial, cultural, historical & intergenerational).  Beyond the challenges we face to parent in ways we may not have been parented, there is a deep love for our children that wants to be expressed and known in presence with them. There's also a yearning in us to experience that deep love ourselves; to feel our power and to live authentically, just as we yearn to protect that for our kids, too. The urgency to heal what's still alive within us might come up with a force because of them, and yet it's ultimately a reclamation of our life force, vitality, joy, connection and creativity we're most hungry for. It’s sometimes a desire bold as love that fuels our courage to meet what we fear to face.