Your Partner’s Behavior is Trauma-Related, But It’s Still Not OK
One very bad sign that someone is losing themself in an unhappy relationship, is that they write to me about their partner and how wonderful they are, then tell me all about their partner’s traumatic past -- and then list all the ways their partner is mistreating them. It's as if they don't want me to see the facts. Trauma might be an explanation for someone cheating and stonewalling, but it’s not an excuse and justifying it because the abuser was traumatized could be a way you gaslight yourself. My letter today is from a man who is dating a woman whose trauma wounds are damaging the relationship, and he writes:
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Om Podcasten
I’m Anna Runkle, also known as the Crappy Childhood Fairy, and I teach people to recognize and heal the symptoms of Childhood PTSD. Welcome to my podcast!I’m not a doctor or therapist; I know about childhood trauma because I lived it, and I discovered a radical approach to healing that focuses first on calming neurological dysregulation, which is common in people who grew up with abuse and neglect. In my podcasts, I teach about dysregulation – how to know if you have it, what it can do to your body, your thinking and your relationships, and what to do to master re-regulation. When I learned this, everything in my life got suddenly easier. I’ll also be teaching you to heal the life problems that so often develop after years of living dysregulated – feeling tired, isolated and unfocused, finding yourself always drawn to unavailable and inappropriate partners, and falling WAY short of your professional potential, for example. The thing about me is, traditional therapies never seemed to help me. When I found techniques that did work, my whole life changed. Only in the past few years has the trauma research caught up to explain why – why the techniques I use worked, why therapy didn’t, and why my healing journey was so unnecessarily long. I’ve been teaching what I learned for more than 20 years now. It started with friends who had noticed the quick and dramatic change in me, and gradually grew by word of mouth. In 2016, I had so many people seeking instruction that I made my first online video, and then an online course, and this is how Crappy Childhood Fairy was born. My techniques and principles are practical yet powerful – an approach anyone can use, whether or not you have access to professional help. In this podcast, I’ll be talking about the master of self-regulation, and teach the tough-love life-lessons that you may not have learned at home – like how to date so that stable love finds you, how to get ahead at work, and how to calm the negative hamster-wheel thoughts that block your ability to connect with other people. Today, almost half a million people follow my work and participate in my training and coaching programs. My mission is to change the paradigm of what’s possible for people like us, and to help you free yourself from the oppression of trauma wounds, and to become your full, happy and real self. I’m glad you’re here! Watch new videos on my YouTube channel every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and access my videos, courses and free tools at crappychildhoodfairy.com.