Is It Too Late? How to Repair a Broken Relationship With Your Friend or Family Member

In this episode, you’re going to learn that it is never too late to try to repair a broken or difficult relationship. Research shows that estrangement is not only on the rise but that the majority of us have at least one extended family member or friend who is estranged. I know this is true in my own extended family, and I also have friends who are estranged from their parents. Whether you’re the person who’s cut off contact or you're the one wondering why someone you love did, our episode today will give you the language, tools, and context to start moving toward understanding and healing. Dr. Joshua Coleman is a psychologist and best-selling author who works with families to repair broken bonds and help them reconcile and improve difficult or estranged relationships. In fact, according to Dr. Coleman, the strategies he shares work, and the statistics are in your favor. I hope you share this with anyone you know dealing with a difficult relationship. It is very common, especially after a divorce and when there is a new spouse or significant other. When someone you love suddenly pulls away or cuts you out of their life, you need a playbook to help you know when to reach out and when not to reach out, and what exactly to say and not say. Today you’ll learn: Why estrangement is on the rise. What some therapists do wrong that can make things worse. What to do if you’re the sibling caught in the middle. How to take responsibility, even if you don’t think you should. Early mistakes we make that can lead to estrangement. Early steps we can take to avoid estrangement. How long it takes to reconcile and where to even begin. The pain of separation is real, but it doesn’t have to be forever. Xo, Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 01:04: The silent epidemic that’s happening right now is estrangement. 02:10: What is estrangement? 04:42: How "cancel culture" is impacting relationships 09:07: The horrible advice for estrangement Dr. Coleman got in therapy. 12:24: What moving towards a child's trauma looks like 14:07: How do you know if someone has deliberately cut you out of their life? 16:32: The most common complaint adult children have for their parents 19:56: One of the most common pathways to estrangement 22:04: The most common mistakes estranged parents make 24:32: Why you cannot take things personally 26:35: Why radical acceptance is a required step in reconnecting 29:50: Let’s unpack why guilt doesn’t work. 35:20: What to do when reconciliation isn’t desired by the other person 36:32: What are the steps towards reconciliation? 39:07: Why Dr. Coleman says that parents have a moral obligation to take the high road 42:10: The silent treatment is wrong. Here’s why 47:15: When you should stop reaching out for reconciliation 49:30: What is an amends letter, and how should you write it? 56:18: How do you engage with someone who doesn’t want to engage with you? Disclaimer

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You can change your life and Mel Robbins will show you how. Mel Robbins is one of the world’s most widely booked and followed podcast hosts and authors. She’s trusted by the world’s leading brands and medical professionals who use her research-backed tools and strategies in clinical and corporate settings. She’s amassed millions of followers online, with her videos going viral almost daily. 143 Studios Inc., her female-led media company, produces provocative and award-winning content with unprecedented results: millions of books sold, billions of video views, seven #1 audiobooks, and original courses and programming for clients like Starbucks, JP Morgan Chase, LinkedIn, Spotify, Headspace, and Audible. Mel’s work has been translated into 41 languages, her podcast is syndicated in 194 countries, and her TEDx Talk is one of the most viewed of all time. A New York Times bestselling author and self-publishing phenom, Mel’s work includes The High 5 Habit and The 5 Second Rule. Most importantly, her science-backed tools and relatable advice have changed the lives of millions of people worldwide. Despite all this, Mel is one of the most down-to-earth and caring people you’ll ever meet. The person you see every day online is exactly the same in real life. Probably because she learned everything she teaches the hard way: by first screwing up her own life, and out of necessity, discovering the tools and research that transformed her life and got her to where she is today. In The Mel Robbins Podcast, Mel gets more personal than ever, welcoming you into her life and taking you behind the scenes in real time. Every episode is packed with deeply relatable topics, tactical advice, hilarious screwups, compelling conversations, and the tools and inspiration you need to create a better life. Tune in and buckle up – your life is about to change. New episodes of The Mel Robbins Podcast drop every Monday and Thursday. To learn more about Mel, go deeper into every episode, find the resources and research she mentions, or submit a topic or question, check out https://www.melrobbins.com. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to ad-free new episodes.