Why Am I So Triggered? 3 Steps to Control Your Emotions & Rewire Your Response to Stress

Today’s conversation is required listening for everyone. We are going to blow the lid off of emotional triggers. Let’s get to the bottom of why you and I react the way we do, and more importantly, learn simple ways to take control of our emotions. It doesn’t matter where you live, how you grew up, or even if you’re a freakin’ saint to everyone else, I know you have something that triggers you. You have days just like I do when something sets you off and you either snap like a firecracker or withdraw like a turtle in a shell. And just like me, you say and do things you later regret. I’ll go first: I’m trying hard to work on the nasty tone of voice I use with Chris and our kids when I feel frustrated or confronted. And it doesn’t end there. If you’re like me, you beat yourself up for getting triggered, and you now start feeling bad and regret what you did (or the fact that you did nothing). It makes me feel like crap when I do these things. I have felt helpless for a long time because it’s been so automatic when I get triggered emotionally. I don’t want to keep living like this. I’d like to feel calm, peaceful, and more in control. And that’s what this episode is about. Wouldn’t you love to get out of this cycle of feeling emotionally triggered? Wouldn’t you love to take control of your emotional life as an adult? The good news: you can rewire your response to stressful and annoying situations. And in turn, you’ll bring more happiness, presence, control, and closer relationships into your life, because you’ll be present in them instead of letting your emotions drive you. So, who is going to teach us about triggers? I’ve tracked down a psychologist who teaches one of the most popular online workshops about this topic: The incredible Dr. Becky Kennedy. She’s the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Good Inside. And do not let the fact that she is a child psychologist and parenting expert keep you from soaking up and applying everything you can learn from her. No matter how old you are right now, YOU were once a child. And that, my friend, is where your triggers got hardwired inside of you: before you even knew how to talk. Understanding triggers (and taming them) requires you to go back before you can move forward. Dr. Becky says, “Your triggers are stories from your past.” Listen to this episode and really try to absorb what Dr. Becky shares, because the wiring and triggers that frustrate you right now are not permanent. I know you’re going to send this to every one of your friends who is a parent, and please send it to your kids, nieces, and nephews, too. Learning how to rewire my response to stress at 54 is amazing. But imagine if you knew how to do this in high school. That’s why I’ve asked our three kids – ages 23, 22, and 17 – to listen too. Sure, it would be nice for us to pass this healing and confidence-building stuff down to every generation, right? If they get this information now, they can rewire themselves faster. This is really important, life-changing stuff. And I love that it’s also so simple. And you know what else I love? You. Thank you for listening and let me know what you learn. Xo, Mel PS: Want to go deeper? For complete show notes, go to melrobbins.com One thing that helped me gain control is taking control of my mornings. If you haven’t checked out my free 5-day Wakeup Challenge, let me support you in getting going and creating a better morning. Sign up here.

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You can change your life and Mel Robbins will show you how. Mel Robbins is one of the world’s most widely booked and followed podcast hosts and authors. She’s trusted by the world’s leading brands and medical professionals who use her research-backed tools and strategies in clinical and corporate settings. She’s amassed millions of followers online, with her videos going viral almost daily. 143 Studios Inc., her female-led media company, produces provocative and award-winning content with unprecedented results: millions of books sold, billions of video views, seven #1 audiobooks, and original courses and programming for clients like Starbucks, JP Morgan Chase, LinkedIn, Spotify, Headspace, and Audible. Mel’s work has been translated into 41 languages, her podcast is syndicated in 194 countries, and her TEDx Talk is one of the most viewed of all time. A New York Times bestselling author and self-publishing phenom, Mel’s work includes The High 5 Habit and The 5 Second Rule. Most importantly, her science-backed tools and relatable advice have changed the lives of millions of people worldwide. Despite all this, Mel is one of the most down-to-earth and caring people you’ll ever meet. The person you see every day online is exactly the same in real life. Probably because she learned everything she teaches the hard way: by first screwing up her own life, and out of necessity, discovering the tools and research that transformed her life and got her to where she is today. In The Mel Robbins Podcast, Mel gets more personal than ever, welcoming you into her life and taking you behind the scenes in real time. Every episode is packed with deeply relatable topics, tactical advice, hilarious screwups, compelling conversations, and the tools and inspiration you need to create a better life. Tune in and buckle up – your life is about to change. New episodes of The Mel Robbins Podcast drop every Monday and Thursday. To learn more about Mel, go deeper into every episode, find the resources and research she mentions, or submit a topic or question, check out https://www.melrobbins.com. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to ad-free new episodes.