Vanessa's Favorite Tips From Season 2 Of The MomForce Podcast
No one has all of the answers when it comes to parenting, but we have had some incredible aha moments during Season 2 of The MomForce podcast. From design questions with Shea McGee, to life on the big screen with Melissa Joan Hart. We are excited to share some of our favorite words of wisdom from our guests this past season. Kendra Adachi @thelazygenius “Our culture is obsessed with being real, but we've been using the wrong measuring stick. Usually when people say, oh, you're so real, it's when I am showing the messy parts of my life. You know, that I yelled at a kid or that my house is a mess or that I burned food or something like that. Because we all relate to that. And so those things are important because they're part of life. But I think there has been a bit of an idolization of not caring that unless you are sort of a mess, you're not being vulnerable. You're not actually being real. If you are showered and you have on a bold lip and you got stuff done today and you tell people that, well, then you're just fake. But both things are real and both things exist in the same person often. We don't need to conflate messiness and vulnerability or cleanliness or orderliness or whatever it is. That separates us from each other.” Gretchen Rubin @gretchenrubin Research shows and I think common experience confirms that about 50% of happiness is hardwired. Some people are Tiggers and some people are Eyores and that's pretty much hardwired. Then like 10% to 20% is life circumstances, like age, health, wealth, occupation, and marital status. And then all the rest is very much a function of both conscious thoughts and actions. And a lot of times when I hear parents saying to me, like I wanted to help my child be happier when I talked to them, what I realized is you're an eight on the one to 10 scale. You're a Tigger. And you got a kid who's a five on the one to 10 scale. They're an Eyore. And you're not going to turn them into an eight. They are who they are. It's like, you get what you get and you don't get upset.” LaNesha Tabb @apron_education "My number one tip for teaching children about diversity is - stop being weird about it. It's totally okay to notice differences and appreciate them. That would look like if your child notices the color of someone's skin or that their hair is different. Don't shush them, lean into it and say, their skin looks that way because they have a different amount of melanin or people have different kinds of hair and that's okay. So the more you aren't weird about it as a parent, the more your children will learn to be open and accepting." Jennifer Borget @jenniferborget “I think with social media, we have this expectation that all of your work needs to be on display. You know, if you do the work, we want receipts, but that doesn't need to be the case. I think a lot of the work is a personal thing and it's a lifelong thing.” Renae Ingles @renaeingles “If you are a parent and you are sitting in that room and you have just received an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis, it is not doomsday. I know that it feels like it right now, but it's not, I am two years into this autism journey and it is a tough, wonderful roller coaster that has so many more rewards than you could ever imagine.” Lisa Clark @yourfunnyvalentine “I choked up when we were filming and I said the line, “My family life is insane and I want to hold onto every single freaking stupid, stressful, beautiful moment”. Because you really want to imprint those moments on your heart forever.” Melissa Joan Hart @melissajoanhart “I actually got really great advice. When my 14 year old was entering sixth grade, we were having so much trouble getting him to do his homework and we went to see a family therapist who gave us some really great advice. She said, he is going through a time right now where he doesn't know if he's a little boy or a big boy and he doesn't know what he wants to be. So it is your job to just treat him like a little boy, you should not be treating him like he's an 18 year old or even a 16 year old. You treat him like he's your little baby boy. And ever since I did that, it really changed our dynamic.” Andrea Hanneman @earthyandy "The most common misconception about plant-based eating would be that you need to change your social life. When I first changed, I kept it a secret. What I learned is that no one really cares what you're eating. You can choose to eat fried chicken, and I might choose to eat an apple. At the end of the day, no one really cares.” Jennifer Anderson @kidseatincolor “You're gonna be thinking, “oh my gosh, they're going to die because they only have two bites of food!”. We have to take a step back and think, you know what? It's not our job to be in charge of the size or shape of our child. It's not our job to get them to swallow certain foods. It's our job to put the food on the table, to provide a consistent meal routine for them, to sit with them and to provide a calm eating environment.” Shea McGee @studiomcgee “I always have had a pretty easy time listening to my heart and knowing if I don't feel good about something. Every time I didn't listen to that, something would go wrong. I would take on a client that I feel like, oh, I'm not sure if this is going to be a good fit, then I find out it's not going to be a good fit or every time I think, maybe my kid isn't ready for this activity and I do it anyway -then I find out why. I think that the same goes for design. If I'm not feeling good about something or I'm not head over heels for something. I don't buy it. Don’t buy something just because the internet tells you that you should. I say wait, take a second. I think it's a skill that you develop over time. Syd and I have gotten better at trusting our gut over the years.” Jamie Kern Lima @jamiekernlima “I asked Meg Whitman, have you ever worried about body stuff? Does that affect you at all? And there was a long pause and then she just looked at me and said no. She goes, no, something has to give. She said, I have really focused on raising my kids and building my career. So my house does not look the way Martha Stewart’s might. And I just don't worry about body image issues. It hit me for a minute and there's a famous quote that, anything we spend time on comes at the price of something else. Anything, and that's true of our time or our energy. And it hit me that, Oh my goodness, how many minutes slash hours slash days slash years of my life, have I wasted worrying about things that don't serve me or the world. Like when I think about ridiculous things. Like what size I fit into, or what diet I'm going to try, or how I don't want to go to a high school reunion because I don't fit into anything. Just little thoughts like that, that we have. And what a waste of time they are. Imagine balling up all of that time together. It was a huge aha moment for me. I really encourage everyone to do an inventory of the way we use our thoughts and our energy, because it's often in a way that doesn't serve us.” Listen to the full MomForce Podcast episode for more tips from our incredible Season 2 guests and get ready for Season 3 kicking off September 2021! We are so happy you are here! Make a Chatbook and use code POD20. Happy Chatbooking!