044: Understanding Avoidant Tendencies In Children & How To Reduce Them

Is your child simply unmotivated? Are they lazy? Is there more to their lack of engagement? In this episode, we talk about the differences between kids who don’t do stuff simply because they don’t want to and those who would like to, but can't.    These are the kids with avoidant tendencies.   They not only avoid activities that other children would normally avoid — such as chores or homework — but also those activities that would typically be fun and enjoyable. Why is that?   At the core of avoidant tendencies is the child’s self-esteem and their sense of worth.    They have learned to hide and avoid discomfort by avoiding anything that is remotely likely to challenge their fragile self-perception. So much so that they are willing to trade fun and enjoyment in return for a sense of comfort.   Tune into this episode to find out how to tell the difference between laziness and avoidant tendency. And also, what to do to reduce them.      Need more ideas? Sign up here for the Emotionally Intelligent Parenting training.     Host: Julia Pappas, Psychologist & Parent Coach With questions and comments, please reach out on Instagram @theparentingpresence. Additional info is available at theparentingpresence.com  

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The "parenting presence" is the inner strength and gentle wisdom available to any parent who is willing to spend time to get to know themselves. Parents who learn how their own emotional regulation works, how their needs are met, and how actions are guided by thoughts and interpretations — also discover an amazing source of influence and guidance available to them in parenting. Why? Because when parents know the rhythms of their own inner workings, they are also able to discover what makes their child tick. We have many questions when it comes to parenting and just about everywhere we turn – someone’s got the answer! But how do you tease out what really matters? The PARENTING PRESENCE framework is your guide to parenting essentials and it consists of THREE CORE ELEMENTS. It is based on simple principles of child development and incorporates deep personal values everyone holds as a parent. This is a podcast about the most essential parenting skills we need in order to raise children with confidence and intention. Isn’t it so much better to know with certainty what to do, rather than follow random advice? Exactly! Join Julia Pappas, Psychologist and Parent Coach, on the mission towards informed parenting simplicity. What to do when children have strong emotions? What if the child’s behavior is out of control? How to manage our own anger and frustration? Find answers to your burning questions and get strategies that work today and bring maximum impact for long-term sustainable relationship with your children. For show notes, downloadable parenting resources, and more information, please explore each episode.