065: How the Child's Sense of Self & Boundaries Help with Emotional Regulation

What do boundaries have to do with emotional regulation? In this episode we are exploring the connection between the Sense of Self and the child’s sense of psychological Boundaries and what they have to do with the child’s emotional regulation.    We explore why there can be no mental health without a Sense of Self. And the child’s ability to form a strong Sense of Self depends on Boundaries.   It is the child's Sense of Self that ultimately helps them regulate emotionally, because of things like self-awareness and self-control, that come with the Sense of Self. Self awareness helps the child become aware of what they are feeling and also become aware of the fact that these are their emotions. And because it is their emotions, it is the child who wants to feel better, and is therefore compelled to find a way to self-regulate.   And the ability to self-regulate comes from their capacity for self-control. This capacity increases as the child’s Sense of Self gets stronger.    And the only way the Sense of Self can get stronger is — through boundaries. And so, as the Sense of Self strengthens (when protected by boundaries), it in turn also helps reinforce those boundaries even more.   This way, Boundaries and Sense of Self are not only interconnected, they reinforce each other.         Want to explore another important issue? "Don't Blame The Brain" is the book you don't want to miss! In this book, I walk you through a simple and reliable process to get the most out of your emotions and feel better finally.   Go to dontblamethebrain.com for details.     Podcast Host: Julia Pappas, Psychologist & Parent Coach With questions and comments, please reach out on Instagram @theparentingpresence. Additional info is available at theparentingpresence.com     

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The "parenting presence" is the inner strength and gentle wisdom available to any parent who is willing to spend time to get to know themselves. Parents who learn how their own emotional regulation works, how their needs are met, and how actions are guided by thoughts and interpretations — also discover an amazing source of influence and guidance available to them in parenting. Why? Because when parents know the rhythms of their own inner workings, they are also able to discover what makes their child tick. We have many questions when it comes to parenting and just about everywhere we turn – someone’s got the answer! But how do you tease out what really matters? The PARENTING PRESENCE framework is your guide to parenting essentials and it consists of THREE CORE ELEMENTS. It is based on simple principles of child development and incorporates deep personal values everyone holds as a parent. This is a podcast about the most essential parenting skills we need in order to raise children with confidence and intention. Isn’t it so much better to know with certainty what to do, rather than follow random advice? Exactly! Join Julia Pappas, Psychologist and Parent Coach, on the mission towards informed parenting simplicity. What to do when children have strong emotions? What if the child’s behavior is out of control? How to manage our own anger and frustration? Find answers to your burning questions and get strategies that work today and bring maximum impact for long-term sustainable relationship with your children. For show notes, downloadable parenting resources, and more information, please explore each episode.