Boundaries Today – 330
Why are boundaries important to me right now? How am I setting and keeping healthy boundaries, today? A couple of listeners shared their experience of boundaries. Spencer's discussion is guided by this outline. * How Al-Anon Works, Chapter 11 Detachment, Love, and Forgiveness has a section titled Personal Boundaries.* “… many of us find it difficult even to begin [to focus on ourselves] because we have lost track of the separation between ourselves and others.”* “Enmeshed” best describes my relationship with my loved one before Al-Anon * I didn’t understand where I stopped and someone else began, so naturally I tried to take responsibility for everything.* Discovering boundaries: internal and external* Internal: “this is mine, that is not mine” (also the “hula hoop” concept)* Serenity prayer is a big help here.* External: limits I set on my behavior and limits I set on what I will tolerate* I will make sure I get enough rest, despite how late anyone else wants to stay up.* I reserve the right to remove myself from uncomfortable situations* I won’t give you more than I am comfortable giving* Not exactly a slogan: “Givers need to set boundaries because takers have none.”* Why are boundaries important now?* At home with my wife (and dog) 24-7.* Both of us are working — we both need to respect our work hours.* Outside the home: honor distancing guidelines (boundary on my own behavior)* Respect others’ desires* How do I respond when others are not honoring my boundaries (distancing)? Readings and Links We read from Hope for Today, November 6; Courage to Change, July 19, and How Al-Anon Works, pages 267-269 Feedback Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecovery.show with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.