580: Stop Making Other People More Comfortable

How often have you made yourself smaller because you didn’t want to make other people feel uncomfortable? You didn’t want to outshine someone, you didn’t want to hold someone responsible, you didn’t want to make someone take a closer look at themself? Perhaps you find yourself keeping your voice quiet and small because you are worried that your louder, bigger voice would make too much noise for another person. Sometimes it is absolutely appropriate to make space for others. But sometimes the space you are making for others is at your own expense. That is not appropriate.  If you are an over-giver or a people pleaser, you probably know well the pain and exhaustion of tiptoeing around someone else. You know the resentment that comes with biting your tongue and taking someone else’s crap. You know the regret that comes with letting someone say or do something gross and not calling them on it.  I’m giving you permission to use your voice more loudly, more clearly, and more frequently.  I’m inviting you to set better boundaries that keep the right people out of your life and invite the right people in on your terms.  This is about you having clarity around what you stand for and what you stand against. This is about knowing who you are and who you want to give your energy to. This is about letting other people be responsible for themselves instead of you feeling like you must keep them comfortable at all times. In today’s episode I walk you through a handful of situations in which you might want to consider how you’re sacrificing yourself in order to make others more comfortable - and how to stop doing that. Links Mentioned: Join my free Hope, Happiness & Mental Health Challenge Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Welcome to Shameless Leadership! This show is for women, transgender people, non-binary folks, and allies who are committed to advancing their leadership and the leadership of those around them. In this space, we believe everyone deserves to feel seen, heard, valued, and supported. Our mission is to help you foster these feelings within your own circles of influence to build trust, psychological safety, and a culture of belonging. In each episode, we dive into essential topics impacting women in leadership - everything from shutting down your inner critic and imposter syndrome to overcoming perfectionism to using your voice in new ways to advocate for yourself, your ideas, and other folks carrying marginalized identities. You'll hear practical tips, effective strategies, and inspiring stories that will not only enhance your leadership skills but also broaden your perspective to become a more confident, thoughtful, and empathetic leader. Our stories come from people carrying identities who are often underrepresented, underestimated, and excluded. By sharing their experiences, we aim to provide you with invaluable lessons that will transform your leadership journey. We are thrilled to have you join this community of Shameless Leaders who are actively creating a world where everyone, regardless of gender, can intentionally lead through a more curious, compassionate, and inclusive lens.