145 Doctor Who (Castrovalva)
Tegan’s keen to upgrade her driving licence. She’s already gone from car to ambulance and now she’s making the leap to time and space machine, but the engine’s over-heated and she’s got all hot and bothered. She needs to relax with a bit of indoor graffiti but she’s not quite at Banksy’s level yet. The Doctor’s had a nasty fall and he now thinks the TARDIS needs one hell of a clear-out. Unfortunately, he also thinks the best way to do this is to wander the corridors putting on silly voices and taking his clothes off. This scars Nyssa’s innocent teenage mind and the only way she can cope with things is to build coffins, throw wheelchairs into rivers and have secret meetings with her boyfriend in strange hotel rooms. The Master hopes they can all get past these problems because he’s reserved a table for them at his new cliff-top restaurant. There’s only one thing on the menu, a plan sandwich; a steak of the biggest, nastiest, most evil plan ever devised wrapped between two slices of lightly smoked plan. And if that wasn’t evil enough, he’s only gone and stuck a stick of celery on top. Bastard.