I cheated and can’t forgive myself

Jackie has a hard time allowing herself to be human, to be imperfect. She cheated in her current relationship. Though her partner has forgiven her, she has really struggled to forgive herself.    She's stuck in a loop of self-blame and punishment and holds a story that since no one else has punished her, she must be the one who does.    Growing up she felt like she had to be a good girl, which was exacerbated after her father was in a serious car crash. It left him with a brain injury that changed his personality and made him reactive and verbally abusive. As a result, Jackie shifted into someone who pleased, who was perfect. Although Jackie knows that perfection isn't possible, she still struggles to allow herself grace when she makes mistakes. 
 You can order Vienna's National Best Seller 'The Origins of You' here and you can get a signed copy here. 

Om Podcasten

We all have the capacity to create long lasting change. I’m Vienna Pharaon, a licensed marriage and family therapist. I’ve spent over 25,000 hours working with individuals, couples and families, which has given me a front-row seat to our capacity for change, no matter how challenging a story might be. This is a show where I speak with anonymous people every week about the challenges they’re facing. And even though this is not how I work with actual clients – which has months, sometimes years of trust built together over time – it’s pretty incredible where a one-off conversation with someone you don’t know can lead you. In fact, I think it’s quite remarkable. I’m the author of the national best selling book ‘The Origins of You,’ which explores how to break family patterns so that you can liberate the way you live and love, and create the life and relationships you’ve always wanted. What I have found time and time again is that our unwanted patterns in our adult lives is unresolved pain from the past that’s grabbing for our attention. If we can be brave enough to face our patterns, a lot of beautiful healing work can happen. That’s why the show is named This Keeps Happening. I hope what you hear today helps you as you go through your own journey.