Ask Amy: Helping Kids Deal With Comparison and Envy

Ever have a kid with a long face in the back seat at school pickup because they were NOT chosen as "Student of the Week"? A listener emailed us to ask: How do you help your kid work through comparison and envy? My child is in 3rd grade and experiencing many emotions around "unfairness" and jealousy. Not so much about material things, like "this kid has X and I don't." More like "this kid is the teacher's pet and gets (or appears to get) special privileges that I don't." No surprise, my child is an aspiring teacher's pet, but doesn't perceive that they're getting the same attention and/or opportunities. I don't think it's something I should address at school. It's not that anyone is doing something wrong. More of a "life isn't always fair" lesson that's creating big 3rd-grade emotions. We can't smooth every negative emotion from our children's experiences, and we shouldn't even try. If our kids have to move through the very human emotions of jealousy and frustration, they'll develop the resilience that we want them to possess as they grow towards independence. In this episode Amy discusses some strategies for helping kids deal with comparison and envy. When we teach them to self-compare, applaud their personal progress, and highlight their own pride in their achievements (rather than our own), we teach them that satisfaction can come less from being *the* best than by being our own best. In this episode, Amy refers to this resource from Big Life Journal: How to Help Children Stop Comparing Themselves to Others Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Om Podcasten

When you're a parent, every day brings a "fresh hell" to deal with. In other words, there's always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you're not alone, and it won't always be this hard. We're Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables, both busy moms of three kids, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is a laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet or an organizational system she didn't like. In each episode of "What Fresh Hell" we offer lots of laughs, but also practical advice, parenting strategies, and tips to empower you in your role as a mom. We explore self-help techniques, as well as ways to prioritize your own needs, combat stress, and despite the invisible workload we all deal with, find joy amidst the chaos of motherhood. If you've ever wondered "why is my kid..." then one of us has probably been there, and we're here to tell you what we've learned along the way. We unpack the behaviors and developmental stages of toddlers, tweens, and teenagers, providing insights into their actions and equipping you with effective parenting strategies. We offer our best parenting tips and skills we've learned. We debate the techniques and studies that are everywhere for parents these days, and get to the bottom of what works best to raise happy, healthy, fairly well-behaved kids, while fostering a positive parent-child relationship. If you're the default parent in your household, whether you're a busy mom juggling multiple pickups and dropoffs, or a first-time parent seeking guidance, this podcast is your trusted resource. Join our community of supportive mom friends laughing in the face of motherhood!   whatfreshhellpodcast.com