Ask Margaret - Can I Say "No Gifts" For My Kid's Birthday?

Birthday parties are terrific but gifts can be a drag. Buying gifts for kids' parties can be an expensive hassle, and your kid receiving gifts can mean more plastic stuff she doesn't need or even really want. But is it possible to say "no gifts" for your kid's birthday? This week's question comes from Facebook, where Katie asks: What are your thoughts on putting a request for "no gifts" on children's party invitations? I know Emily Post considers it a major faux pas, but my inclination is that the rules can be relaxed for 4-year-olds (and their busy, perpetually stressed, pandemic-induced socially anxious parents). You can say "no gifts" for your child's birthday, although four may be a little young. You'll get better results if you get some serious buy-in from your child on a reason for going gift-free. Consider encouraging your child to find a cause or organization they would like to support– like a local animal shelter. Ask party guests to bring either a gift for your child or a donation for the shelter (like dog food). Then your child can go with you to the animal shelter to see the donations being put to good use. It's a great lesson for kids– to enjoy getting gifts while also sharing with others. Eventually your child may decide that they enjoy helping the causes they care about even more than getting gifts for themselves. You can also talk to your kids about the environmental impact of plastic toys and help them see that getting fewer gifts is better for the Earth. When it comes to bringing gifts to other kids' parties, you don't get a vote. If the invitation doesn't specify "no gifts," you should bring one, although you can decide to make those gifts simple and non-plastic if you desire– Margaret stocks up on gift cards to her local bookstore for those occasions. Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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When you're a parent, every day brings a "fresh hell" to deal with. In other words, there's always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you're not alone, and it won't always be this hard. We're Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables, both busy moms of three kids, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is a laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet or an organizational system she didn't like. In each episode of "What Fresh Hell" we offer lots of laughs, but also practical advice, parenting strategies, and tips to empower you in your role as a mom. We explore self-help techniques, as well as ways to prioritize your own needs, combat stress, and despite the invisible workload we all deal with, find joy amidst the chaos of motherhood. If you've ever wondered "why is my kid..." then one of us has probably been there, and we're here to tell you what we've learned along the way. We unpack the behaviors and developmental stages of toddlers, tweens, and teenagers, providing insights into their actions and equipping you with effective parenting strategies. We offer our best parenting tips and skills we've learned. We debate the techniques and studies that are everywhere for parents these days, and get to the bottom of what works best to raise happy, healthy, fairly well-behaved kids, while fostering a positive parent-child relationship. If you're the default parent in your household, whether you're a busy mom juggling multiple pickups and dropoffs, or a first-time parent seeking guidance, this podcast is your trusted resource. Join our community of supportive mom friends laughing in the face of motherhood!   whatfreshhellpodcast.com