Ask Margaret - My Child is So Rude to Me!

If you have a kid who used to gaze at you with adoring eyes and now looks at you as if everything you say is the dumbest thing they've ever heard, you can probably relate to this week's question: My 11 (almost 12) year old son started 6th grade this year and he has turned into a totally different person! I feel like I don’t even know him. He can’t seem to stop back talking, he’s selfish, and he’s really just rude. The good news is that our kids turning on us and becoming disrespectful is normal, age-appropriate, and a sign that our kids are flexing their much-needed independence from us. But that doesn't mean that being rude is OK. So how do we enforce boundaries of respectful treatment in our homes without our dialogues with our kids just becoming "Don't talk to me that way!" on constant repeat? The main thing to remember is that you should not be being disrespected in your own home. Get used to repeating, "I'm happy to help you with that if you can ask in a pleasant tone of voice." It is extremely difficult, but your power in this situation comes from staying calm. Practice a gesture (such as putting up a "stop" hand) that goes along with your request to speak more politely. If this is not working don't be afraid to use our old friend the whiteboard. "If you speak rudely five times a day you get five checks ant then you are off screens for the day." It's a good discipline to get into because it means instead of yelling you are calmly replying "that's one check out of five." While you are working this program find as many things as you can to lean in to for connection with your kids. Whether it's Roblox or playoff games, work on finding ways that you can enjoy talking to each other so that you're not spending all your timing yelling "Don't talk to me like that!" Margaret cites this article from empoweringparents.com: https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/disrespectful-child-or-teen-5-things-not-to-do-as-a-parent/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Om Podcasten

When you're a parent, every day brings a "fresh hell" to deal with. In other words, there's always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you're not alone, and it won't always be this hard. We're Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables, both busy moms of three kids, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is a laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet or an organizational system she didn't like. In each episode of "What Fresh Hell" we offer lots of laughs, but also practical advice, parenting strategies, and tips to empower you in your role as a mom. We explore self-help techniques, as well as ways to prioritize your own needs, combat stress, and despite the invisible workload we all deal with, find joy amidst the chaos of motherhood. If you've ever wondered "why is my kid..." then one of us has probably been there, and we're here to tell you what we've learned along the way. We unpack the behaviors and developmental stages of toddlers, tweens, and teenagers, providing insights into their actions and equipping you with effective parenting strategies. We offer our best parenting tips and skills we've learned. We debate the techniques and studies that are everywhere for parents these days, and get to the bottom of what works best to raise happy, healthy, fairly well-behaved kids, while fostering a positive parent-child relationship. If you're the default parent in your household, whether you're a busy mom juggling multiple pickups and dropoffs, or a first-time parent seeking guidance, this podcast is your trusted resource. Join our community of supportive mom friends laughing in the face of motherhood!   whatfreshhellpodcast.com