Ask Margaret - My Kid Acts Out When Their Sibling Has a Friend Over

Have you noticed your child's behavior going all the way downhill when their sibling has a friend over? You may relate to this week's question from our Facebook group: My kids turn into monsters when their sibling has a friend over. I have a girl and a boy, and they both do this. Other than trying to get the other sibling out of the house, or to have two playdates over at the same time (which is hard with Covid), any tips for quelling this behavior? A playdate’s mere presence can cause friction between siblings, causing the sibling without a friend to become overly attention- seeking, and the sibling with a playdate to cry, ”Mom! He's annoying us!" Firmly address expectations before the playdate by saying something like, "We seem to get into a bad dynamic between you two whenever your sister has a friend over. You can all play together, but if there is a problem I will separate you for the rest of the playdate."  Then be thoughtful about how much of the behavior you can actually ignore. Absent serious conflict, let the kids figure it out. Siblings explore a new dynamic with a third party present: who am I to my sister when this other person is around? It’s useful for them to learn, even if listening to it is annoying to us. Then use the time after the playdate to reflect on what went well–it’s always a good idea to emphasize positive behavior– as well as what did not, and reemphasize your your expectations are going forward. Margaret cites this article by Amy Morin for Very Well Family in this episode. Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Om Podcasten

When you're a parent, every day brings a "fresh hell" to deal with. In other words, there's always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you're not alone, and it won't always be this hard. We're Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables, both busy moms of three kids, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is a laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet or an organizational system she didn't like. In each episode of "What Fresh Hell" we offer lots of laughs, but also practical advice, parenting strategies, and tips to empower you in your role as a mom. We explore self-help techniques, as well as ways to prioritize your own needs, combat stress, and despite the invisible workload we all deal with, find joy amidst the chaos of motherhood. If you've ever wondered "why is my kid..." then one of us has probably been there, and we're here to tell you what we've learned along the way. We unpack the behaviors and developmental stages of toddlers, tweens, and teenagers, providing insights into their actions and equipping you with effective parenting strategies. We offer our best parenting tips and skills we've learned. We debate the techniques and studies that are everywhere for parents these days, and get to the bottom of what works best to raise happy, healthy, fairly well-behaved kids, while fostering a positive parent-child relationship. If you're the default parent in your household, whether you're a busy mom juggling multiple pickups and dropoffs, or a first-time parent seeking guidance, this podcast is your trusted resource. Join our community of supportive mom friends laughing in the face of motherhood!   whatfreshhellpodcast.com